My Daddy

My Daddy isn't here with us in his body anymore. He's been in heaven with Jesus since March 25th. I really miss him (as do my three other sisters and my mom)! He would have been 56 years young this coming Monday, September 1. He died of a heart attack, while working in the red barn he loved so much. He was a wonderful daddy!

This weekend we'll be going to visit Mama (or Nina, as the kids call her)... the whole family will be there. It'll be good. We'll scatter his ashes and make a memorial to him... for us. We'll have some plants, a nice bench, some stepping stones made by all the grand kids, and it'll be under a tree near the barn... in a place he spent lots of time resting from his gardening, contemplating life and enjoying God's creation. Now we'll be able to go there to remember Daddy in a special way... and probably have a healthy cry.

I'm looking forward to this weekend... and at the same time looking forward to it being over.

Who He Was To Me
I really love thinking about my daddy! ...who he was, and who he is, and how he taught me so many things, and how he lived life with abandon. He was such a smart guy with great ingenuity! He was a man of integrity, and intense love - especially for his family! He was so likeable that even those who would consider him an adversary have to admit they liked the guy.

As his daughter, I think about how proud he was of the four of us. No matter how seemingly small the achievement, he would praise us and tell us how proud of us he was, and how good we made him look. :) He always said my mom and sisters and I made him look good, as if to imply he wasn't that good... but he was! And he would always tell us how much he loved us even if we never did great things. He was great at giving unconditional love and telling us that that was one thing we never had to worry about - he'd always love us, no matter what!

He was very huggable, too! Another great thing he did for us as daughters was to always hug us. We grew up with such healthy affection. We didn't have to search around for others to give us physical touch, because he was who we wanted to cuddle up with (usually, that is... I mean we were all teenagers at one point, so there were plenty of times when we resisted the hugs in typical adolescent defiance!)

They say that your image of who God is, is usually shaped by who your earthly father is. Now Daddy certainly had his faults, but I credit him with being a good image of my Heavenly Father, too. He was strong, took care of me, loved me, disciplined me, shaped me, and cared for me. So it wasn't much of a stretch to think of God as all those things and more. Daddy, thanks for that!

A Great Conversationalist

As an adult, living in a different city than him, my relationship with him was mainly through the phone conversations we'd have. Sometimes he'd call just to briefly see how we were doing and maybe to ask a question, or just talk to Leon about some football game or something. But often he'd call and we'd end up in a major theological conversation. He loved to play devil's advocate, and he loved to question the status quo. He loved discussing current events and what was the right thing and what he thought should be done. In the last several years, as my understanding of God and what His plan and purposes are about began to shift, we really had some great, deep conversations. My "follow the rules" and "please everyone" self would usually come up against his "question everything" and "go with your gut" self. But these last few years my thinking began to come more in line with his thinking - and our bond had deepened.

I really miss those conversations! And sometimes when I discover something new, have a deep thought to work through, or want to vent about a particular issue, I have a brief thought, " I'll call Daddy!" and then I remember I can't. Of course conversations with my mom are still great... but those conversations with Daddy were just different and special. Maybe one reason I've loved having this blog is because I can't just call Daddy anymore. I can share my thoughts, work through issues, and vent about whatever I want (almost) here for you all to read. Joy! (Thanks!)

I would love to share some more about my dad. And maybe I will as time goes on... Christmas was his VERY favorite time of year, and he always said so. So, I know the holidays will provide more opportunities for me to share about this great man. And I'll probably post something after this weekend to share with you how it goes. For now, here some info on these pictures of Daddy: 1958 first grade school pic... 1971 new dad pic (me)... 1994 father of the bride (me)... 2006 father of the bride with all his girls (bride Lauren, Jenny, Sarah and me).

The Eyes of Texas are Upon You

Today I bought a University of Texas gift bag that plays the fight song... I don't know why I bought it.... well, yes I do... Trey said, "Why did you buy this?" I said, "It reminded me of Grandy." (That's what the grand kids call him... his name "Randy" mixed with "Grandpa.") I was born in Austin while my parents went to UT, and then my dad went on to graduate from UT Arlington and my mom from SMU. We have various other colleges and universities' "blood" in our family, but of course "Hook 'em Horns" and UT will always remind me of Daddy. He and Mama sang The Eyes of Texas are Upon You to me throughout my childhood, even as a lullaby. I'll bring the gift bag with us this weekend... don't know what I'll do with it.... emotions are just so crazy. You can pray for all of us this weekend... especially Mama.

My Heart

I've always wanted to be a missionary! I was just reminded of that deep-seated passion I have, when I got an e-newsletter from one of my friends who serves as one in South East Asia... and it just made me happy! Above is a picture of a child God loves... and now I do to!

At a young age, inspired by my own family's summer mission trips and the GAs church mission group, I decided I wanted to be a missionary and I became pretty sure that God would send me to some jungle or desert to share the love of Jesus with people there. That was my plan.

Then I met and fell in love with Leon, and one day we had this exchange...
Leon: "So what does it really mean to be a missionary?"
Kim: "Well, I suppose ultimately it just means that I do just what God tells me to do."
Leon: "So what if God tells you to be a wife and a mom?"
Kim: "Well, then I'll be a wife and a mom!"

Leon is great at making a point... and God used that conversation to shift my thinking. God had given me a heart for missions - for loving people - for sharing the message of Jesus. And I can do that in a jungle, a desert, distant mountains, or right in my own city, neighborhood and home as I live out a calling to be a wife and a mom!

And, along those lines, I've found that my goals have shifted as I've matured, more toward God's purposes, I believe: I don't really want to "convert people" or "get them saved"... those tasks have such inherent negativity... I just want to share with people the love and the message of Jesus, and pray that they will experience life in the Kingdom! I am experiencing such an abundant life - full of peace and hope that comes from God - and I want to share that with others!

So, while I've been on overseas mission trips, state-side mission trips, and have a definite passion for that kind of thing, God has not called me (or I should now say, hasn't called our family) to do that permanently (yet :)!). I am learning to be patient when God sets my heart on fire about something. Sometimes my idea of what I need to do with a passion isn't what God has in mind. But what He has in mind is always better! I love my life as a wife and mom and "at-home-missionary."

My M Friends
Part of my passion for missions is reflected in many friends I have who are on the mission field. I love hearing about what they are doing, praying for them, helping them and their ministries financially, and just being friends with them. I think it's really hard sometimes for missionaries to find kindred-spirits when it comes to their life's purpose, their way of thinking, their struggles, and their needs. I really try to be that for these friends. I would love it if you would join me in praying for them... or pick one to pray for once a month... that's doable, right?! And if you want to know more about them (since I can't include too much info on the blog) feel free to ask me!

• A. in SE Asia, training college students to minister in the least reached areas... see http://www.cafe1040.com/.
• Michelle based in Richardson, TX currently... her team is serving among the Kurds in Iraq... see http://www.buyshoessavelives.com/.
• Jenny & Ryan Simmons based in Dallas... ministering around the US... not typical "missionaries," but I consider them to be... feel free to ask me why... see http://www.addisonroad.com/.
• The Parks family in Singapore... ministering in Indonesia and much of SE Asia, too.
• Mimi in Kazakhstan.
• E & S in Indonesia.
• C & S in Indonesia.
• Brian & Erica Villarreal with Campus Crusade at Oklahoma State University.

In my friend's e-newsletter she had a link to a cool website: http://www.freerice.com/. I've added it on my side bar now, too. You can spend as much time or as little time as you'd like on the site, and you can make a difference either way! Go ahead, try it! Pretty awesome way to kill some time, I'd say!

With a heart for the broken world... later everyone!

Leadership

On Sunday the preacher spoke about Biblical Leadership, with Joshua as the example. I love Joshua, and it was a really good sermon... I left with leadership packaged up in a pretty box with a bow on top, ready to face the new church year with gusto! Mission accomplished for the preacher!

... Leadership ... wait ... that's huge!

How can it be summed up in a three point outline in 25 minutes!?

Obviously it can't, even though it makes us feel good to try. But my guess is that even the shortest, simplest blurbs out there about leadership have some truth to contribute to the subject. There are zillions of books on leadership, and probably a million just on Biblical Leadership (of which I own several. :)) There are thousands of people who make their living teaching leadership skills... seminars, conferences, one-on-one coaching (I just went to a leadership banquet tonight). And still the lack of good leadership is seemingly everywhere! (I spare you a list of examples, as I'm sure several popped into your mind immediately.)

From the United Nations to the neighborhood book club, our world needs good leaders. Good leadership can change the world! And poor leadership... well, what can I say, we are a very broken world.

The List
I was thinking about what qualities I consider to be important for good leaders. So, here's my list - some taken from the recent sermon and banquet speech I heard, and some I've come up with based on my experiences. Though none are original, they are essential, nonetheless, to good leadership:

• passion - believe in what you're doing and saying
• poise - staying cool in a crisis
• integrity - you actually are who you claim to be
• optimism - smile and exude hope
• fearlessness - sure of what needs to be done
• decisiveness - sometimes you just have to make a decision
• purpose - cast vision continually
• good listener - hear what others suggest
• vulnerability without sacrificing credibility
• empowerment - empower others to act and make decisions toward the goal
• love - truly love and care about the people you lead
• encouragement, affirmation - others respond well to this
• God-dependent self-confidence - be sure of yourself, but remain dependent on God's direction
• humility - being willing to admit mistakes, being able to accept constructive criticism, not being arrogant or haughty, and lifting up others above yourself

Now I have to stop here to share about my biggest influence in this area. It's my husband, Leon. Leon is a great leader, and has been mentored by a few great ones, as well (including his father, a long-time boss, and a spiritual mentor). In business he has managed teams of people who to this day sing his praises, and he has people ask to work for him - I think that, for sure, is a sign of a great leader! As a part of groups and teams he's on, when he's not the one "in charge," he has a great style of leading from within - suggesting ideas in order to inspire discussion or action. He is what you might call "a change agent!" It's definitely a gift he has! I've had lots of conversations with Leon over the years about leadership and what works and what doesn't. So, on this subject, I pull from his experience and mine.

The list above is a tall order, I know, but it's a great goal to have as you lead...

So who is a leader?

Something else that's been milling around in my head for a while about leadership is this: who is actually a leader? A president, a preacher, a manager, a guru, a pope, a parent, an officer, a friend?

I've decided that I believe that anyone who has influence over another person is a leader: Leadership = Influence.

Do you consider yourself a leader? I believe you are one... because we all have influence over other people! No matter how big or how small your roles in life, you have impact on others in each of those roles, and that means you have significant impact on this world!

If you have a position of leadership, then you have obvious ways to lead others actions toward the common good - whatever the business, organization or group. If you are a parent, aunt, uncle or grandparent you likely have considerable influence on a child, impacting how he or she sees, acts and thinks about the world. And if you have a friend, neighbor or acquaintance, you impact each of them by your actions, words and attitudes. ALL of that is LEADERSHIP!

Think about how you live your life... Do you live as a leader? Do you realize that the things you do and say have an enormous influence on others!? God has placed you and me where we are in this life to make a difference. We get to be used by God to live out His purposes for this world! How amazing! So, let's go out there and do our very best in our areas of leadership!

Why I love MOPS

As most of you know, MOPS, Mothers of Preschoolers, is an organization near and dear to my heart! I was thinking about why I love MOPS so much, and what sets it apart from any other moms group....

Friendships
Friendships are the best part of MOPS! All moms have an intense need for relationships with other adults. Especially for stay-at-home moms, when your life revolves around diapering, feeding, disciplining, and making naps happen, you don't end up with a lot of time for developing relationships. MOPS meetings and outings are a wonderful time to build friendships with other moms who know just what you're going through. Some of my best friends in life I met in MOPS.... it's kind of like making friends in a fox hole - you get to be good friends really fast, and you forever have a unique bond!

Encouragement
I'm posting below the article I wrote for our MOPS newsletter about the power of encouragement. I truly believe that encouragement is vital to each of us. I thrive on it! And MOPS provides life-saving encouragement for moms when they are stuck in depression, feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of their role as a mom, or just needing to feel like their efforts are all worth it!

Development
You might not expect to see this one. But MOPS is so great at developing moms into, not only better moms, but better women, leaders and followers of Christ. I have served on our leadership team for 8 of the 9 years I've been in MOPS, and it has allowed me the opportunity to use my gifts, express my passions, and grow so much in my relationship with the Lord. In MOPS I've developed management and event planning skills, learned to work with all types of people, learned to love deeper and be thankful for the blessings I have. I've been challenged as a mom to pray for my children more and be an "oak tree" for them. Whatever a mom's giftings or interests and passions, there is a place in MOPS to serve, to grow, and to be challenged.

Resources
Because MOPS is an international organization, there are a myriad of resources available. Really the resources are practically endless! Online at mops.org there are articles, chat rooms, activity ideas, devotionals... The MopShop online has books and all kinds of goodies to make your life easier and more fun... Then, my personal favorite are the local conferences and the international Convention, where you hear great speakers and experience workshops with other moms. Plus, each group has Mentor Moms! The Mentor Moms are an invaluable source of support and love and encouragement, and proof you can survive the preschool years! :)

MOPS invests in people. That's what I love about it!

Here's what I wrote for our MOPS newsletter...

The Power of Encouragement
by Kim Verriere

Have you ever thought about what the world would be like without encouragement? I'm pretty sure we would all be a complete mess! A simple act of encouragement can sweeten someone's day, impact someone's decisions, or even change the course someone's life!

I think of the Olympics that most of us have watched lately, and how many stories (told or untold) there are of encouragement - from parents, friends, teammates, coaches... Not one of those athletes would be where they are without encouragement! I also think of our children and how every little "atta-boy" or "great job" or "I knew you could do it!" can have a huge impact on how they behave, learn and grow. It's quite a huge responsibility and a wonderful privilege to encourage our children.

And then I think of MOPS. Encouragement is the reason MOPS exists! And boy, do I need it - especially when it comes to being a mom! I am so thankful for the role my MOPS friends have played in my life, encouraging me in my mothering - but also encouraging me as a woman, friend and leader. I would not be the person I am today without the encouragement from MOPS... that may sound huge, but that's the truth!

Whether this is your first time in MOPS as a new mom of an infant, or you're like me and have four children and are beginning your 10th year in MOPS (I can't believe it!) - or you're anywhere in between - you can look forward to this year in MOPS as a time to develop new friendships, learn and grow from great speakers and mentors, and most of all to be encouraged! I can't wait! See you there!

I don't want to grow up!

As I rocked Emily last night, I told her that someday she would be all grown up and wouldn't want me to rock her anymore, and I would be sad. She looked at me like I had three heads, as if to say, why in the world would I not want you to rock me! With the innocence of a child, she said, "I don't want to grow up." I told her with assurance, "You don't have to. You can stay a child as long as you want to!"

I'm 37 and I still think of myself as a kid in so many ways. And then other times, when I think of myself as a know-it-all, I'm sure I need to! My own children keep me young. And here are some pictures of things we did this weekend that did just that. We went to a local fountain to play one night, then a community orchestra concert on the lawn the next night. Running, dancing, climbing, splashing, playing... life is just so good when you're a kid!

The Monster at the End of this Book

This book was written the year I was born. It is a classic. I love this book. I loved it as a kid. I love the suspense. I love reading it to my kids. I love the message. ... Message? you say. Yes. And a great message at that!

For those who don't know, or need a re-cap, the basic plot is this: Grover is frightened by the title of the book. He is so scared of monsters. He does everything he can to prevent you, the reader, from turning pages, so that he never has to discover the monster at the end of the book. He pleads, he ties the pages together, he nails them together, he builds a big brick wall... and finally when the reader turns the last page, you and he discover that lovable, furry old Grover is the monster at the end of the book. "And you were so scared! I told you and told you there was nothing to be afraid of," he says. And the very last page, with hands over his face he admits, "Oh, I am so embarrassed..."

It's such a cute book, that addresses children's fears of monsters. Children love turning the pages in suspense, even though Grover has pleaded with them otherwise. They laugh and laugh at Grover's seemingly silly fear of monsters.

As I was reading this to Emily last night, it dawned on me that this is exactly how we live our lives sometimes. There are "monsters" (i.e. failures, accidents, catastrophes) out there in the world that we fear so greatly. We spend our energy dreading them, avoiding them, worrying about them, convincing others to fear them, scared and frozen. We tie and nail things down, build brick walls around us, and plead with God to prevent bad stuff from happening. And what good does that do us? Do we not trust God's plan? Do we think our energy spent fearing things is beneficial?

Now I'm not saying that there are not any healthy fears out there, or that we should live life with no thought of safety or wise choices. But I think we can all think of something we fear that, like Grover's fear, when we it really comes down to it, is unnecessary. For example, I fear failure. I really like for every plan I have to go perfectly (or close), be successful (in my eyes), and reflect well on me (oh, and on God, too). But God has been teaching me that sometimes He can actually make wonderful things come from what I would consider a failure. Not only can He make the best of something bad, but He sometimes actually intends for the failure to happen, so He can be glorified in a way I had not planned.

I don't know how God decides what things to allow to happen, what things to cause to happen, and what things to redeem. But I do know that I have learned so much and developed so much character from the "monsters" in my life. God knows the end of the book. He knows all the "monsters" we will face, how He will work through them, and how we will respond. Maybe we need to just chill out a little more, trust Him a little more, and stop fearing things so much. Maybe those monsters we fear will end up being lovable, furry old monsters that ultimately enrich our lives!

Thanks Sesame Street and Children's Television Workshop for teaching us throughout our lives!

Are you busy-rable?

We're approaching that time of year when new schedules begin, new routines, schools and clubs start back up again... it's just so exciting (especially if you're like me and are ready for a break from the kiddos!) But it's also time for the inevitable: being bombarded with requests to volunteer for this, that and the other! ... So, are you going to sign up, commit, say yes, dive in? will you be guilted into doing something? or maybe you're thrilled to say yes to everything so you can be involved, in the know, and active.

I'm going to throw out some new words here...

I personally struggle with what I'll call "yes-itis," that is I have a hard time saying no to things people ask me to help with. And when I am suffering from a bout of yes-itis, I become "busy-rable" (rhymes with miserable), that is I am miserable in my own busyness - unable to have time for truly worthwhile efforts because of being consumed with my own schedule of "to-dos."

I was reading a meditation about being too busy to live justly, and I came upon that word, busy-rable. I love this new word, because I think it's a real condition all of us can suffer with - and probably have at some point. In this meditation, Jana Riess reminds us that we shouldn't substitute busyness with effectiveness in relationships. She says, "Chaucer once wrote that great peace is found in little busyness.... Learning to say no to some tasks has been revolutionary for me, both as a Christian and as a woman. I no longer want to make nice. I want to do good."
...Can I just repeat that last line?!!!...

"I no longer want to make nice. I want to do good."

Wow! I mean, my biggest problem is that I want people to like me. So saying no is SO hard, because I wonder if they'll think I don't support them, or I'm a slacker, or I don't have my priorities straight or if I don't do it nobody will! And so I sometimes say yes to "make nice." But that's NOT what I really want to do. I really want to "do good!" I want what I spend my time doing to be purposeful and for the good of the world! I want to live justly, serving the least of these. I want to be so "not busy" that I can have time for helping the mom in the line at the grocery store... time for stopping to let a stranded driver use my cell phone... time for going downtown to share a meal with a homeless friend... time for writing a letter to my congress person about AIDS help needed in Africa or an environmental initiative needing to be passed...

I'm so much better at saying no than I used to be. And (along with many of you reading this) I'm trying to spend less time "at church" (where most of my "yes"es go) and more time out in the community "being the church." ...But I have so far to go.

I never want to be busy-rable again. I want to have that peace Chaucer mentioned, knowing that the everyday things that happen in the midst of not being busy can have Kingdom impact - they can make the world a better place! You can help hold me accountable to that. Please do.

Doubt Night

Do you ever doubt things that you always thought were true? Do you ever doubt God? Would you dare to? Do you ever wonder how there could be a God with all the awful things in this world? Do you dare to doubt?

Several years ago I didn't doubt much of anything. I had most things in life figured out. And what I couldn't explain, I just let my faith cover that. I was very sure of myself and what I believed in life. ... BUT then God moved me. At my invitation, when I said, "God there has got to be more out there in life!" yes, oh yes, He did! He stretched me, pushed me, pulled me and threw me off the cliff of my own assuredness, sending me flying through new theology, new experiences, new relationships - and ultimately a kind of scary, but really wonderful time of character building and growth. And I'm still flying!

So now I doubt.

You may be thinking that's a bad thing. And I suppose it can be sometimes. But for me right now, it's not bad - in fact, it's really good! It's freeing! And it makes my relationship God richer and deeper - and way-more-personal than it ever was before. (Although that's hard to even write, because I really DID have a very personal relationship with God - just on a different level I guess.)

What's your Velvet Elvis?
Anyway, I'm re-reading Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell, subtitled Repainting the Christian Faith. (A friend gave it back to me after I loaned it to her over a year ago, so I started flipping back through it, and now I'm hooked again.) Now that subtitle could scare those of us who've grown up in church, but don't let it - or for some of you, you might say, "it's about time!" Either way, if you decide to read it, you might find God speaking to you about what kind of faith you have. And, like me, maybe you'll find yourself free to explore your faith more, free to live it out more, free to question... even free to doubt! God used this book as part of my "movement," my flying journey, if you will.

One thing Rob Bell shares about is something his church hosted: They sponsored a "Doubt Night" where people (church members and others) could come together and just express their questions and doubts about God and the world and whatever. The church didn't so much offer all the "right answers" to their questions, or even say that they should just "have faith" and get over it. Instead the church allowed them the opportunity to voice their feelings, shout at God if they needed to, cry over all the "whys" of life, and be heard - not shunned. They offered Hope and Truth and Love, while sharing that Christians don't have all the answers, and Christians "wonder why," and it's okay to doubt and question! God is still there and he still loves us. They offered unconditional love, acceptance and grace to the people there that night! What a great thing!

Maybe I'll be part of a church body who can be comfortable with doing something like that some day!

Bible Truths?
So, lately I've been doubting my long-held beliefs about the Bible. (Whew, there I said it!) I have always revered the Bible more than any other written word. I have always believed that everything in the Bible is absolutely true. I have always believed that it is a book that is more inspired by God than any other, and therefore, I have always placed the Bible equal with God since it is His Word. I'm not saying that I disagree with all these beliefs now, but now I'm just not sure all these beliefs are good.

Here are some of my questions: (For blog posting purposes, let's leave them rhetorical, although if you're interested in discussing these things over a cup of coffee sometime, let me know!)

• How should the Bible be equal with God himself?! Should we worship the Bible?! If the Holy Spirit is telling me one thing, but someone uses a verse in the Bible to "prove" to me otherwise, who is right? The Holy Spirit or the Bible?
• If God speaks to me through a book other than the Bible, should I not trust that, since I wasn't reading the Bible?
• What if a passage in the Bible says one thing, then another passage in the Bible says something else, and a friend who is a follower of Jesus agrees with one of the passages while a friend who is not necessarily a follower of Jesus agrees with the Bible... then who's right?
• And what about all the human factors that went into what we consider to be the Bible? the memorizers, the scribes, the councils of men who decided what to keep and what to exclude, the translators, etc.... they all were human and so made mistakes sometimes... am I to believe that they never made mistakes when it came to the scriptures?
• And what about the other historical legends, myths and allegories that happen to be very similar to supposedly true stories in the Bible?
• And then there are the obvious differences in the gospel stories of Jesus, so we have to consider the writers, the audiences, the cultures, and the purposes of each writer. All four accounts are in scripture...Which version is true? Which aren't?... what about the gospel accounts that didn't make it into our Bible?

All this can make a person crazy, and it does to me sometimes! But it also makes me thrilled about how living and active God is in our world! God can speak to me in whatever way he chooses - through the Bible or some other book (Christian or not), through friends and speakers (Christian or not), through experiences ...and feelings ...and logic ...and thoughts ...and unexplainable occurrences....

So, maybe some of you will be worried about me and my faith, or at least my faith in the Bible. Please don't. I love the Bible now more than ever, because I'm looking at it in a different way. I want to see what Paul thought about something, and how that differs from how the prophets taught or what Jesus said, and how that is similar to what Leon and I think, and how that contrasts with what Bell and McLaren and Young and Campolo view things...

God is working in my life so diligently now. And whether my doubts and questions are on target or way off base, God can handle them, and He covers me with His grace and works His purposes even still!

Olympic Fever

Anyone of you who know me, knows that I am not particularly a sports fan. I am a cheerleader at heart - both in my personality in general, and in being on the sidelines cheering the players on - especially my kids when they are playing! And I watch an occasional football game with Leon (or PBR event, since I got hooked Ty Murray's reality show on CMT last spring - but I'll save that for another blog post). Anyway, sports are a necessary part of my life with a family full of boys, and I get into them when I need to, but they are just not my favorite thing.

With that said, I have to tell you that I think the Olympics are so much fun to watch! I used to look forward to the Olympics solely for women's gymnastics - ever since Nadia and then Mary Lou won my heart as a child. But the last couple of Olympics, I have found myself getting excited about the oddest sports! ... like women's fencing! I didn't watch them compete, but when I saw them interviewed I was so darn proud of those girls that I have watched some footage of it online, and it's pretty cool! As Leon put it, "It's chicks with swords!" Pretty awesome stuff! The USA swept the event with gold, silver and bronze!

Then there is men's swimming. I know most every female in America is somehow smitten with Michael Phelps, so I'm not being unique here. But it's not really Phelps that does it for me. It's how dang exciting the races are! I mean, did you happen to watch last night's 400 free relay?!!! France had actually been talking smack to the press, saying they were going to smash the US, and they were also favored to win. Then just look below at how far behind the US was on the last leg! I thought there was no way the US could come back. THEN Jason Lezak got some sort of freakish push in him and actually he made up the gap. The USA won by only 8 hundredths of a second!!! I could hardly calm down to go to sleep! What a great race!!!

So, all that is to say, have fun watching the Olympics. Maybe you'll find a new favorite sport or two like me! Go USA!

Oh, and on a totally unrelated note... can I just say that I'm THRILLED that it's raining outside right now! Thank you God for watering the ground and cooling things down a little! Off to play in the rain... :)!

Fun Times!

Just thought I'd post some fun pictures from this weekend. My sister, Jenny, and her family came in town. The cousins have a great time together!


Ya know, even though having kids around can sometimes interfere with supposed quality adult conversation, or stifle the fun we adults might want to have, children always make life interesting and silly and they keep us smiling!



So enjoy these fun pics...

I think this one is my favorite picture right now! Such great smiles captured here on my "book-end boys!" (They are first and last children born on the same day of the year, 8 years apart - July 19th!)

Good Mom, Bad Mom... Can I Start Over?!

After re-reading yesterday's post, I thought I might be portraying myself as a little more wonderful than I actually am. I mean anyone can tell a story about something they've done and make their life look like it's a Norman Rockwell painting or something. So please don't get the idea that I flit around doing good with ne'er a negative thought or action.... I certainly aspire to do so, but of course I am human, and I am in need of so much grace and forgiveness, I can't try to kid myself or anyone else. If I ever thought I was a "great mom" who "has it all together," today brought me back to reality quickly! ... Have you ever felt a bit schizophrenic? Well, I certainly did today.

This post would be several feet in length if I explained every occurrence of "good mom" and "bad mom" today. Maybe I'll share more later. But here's the short version: I accomplished a visit to the doctor with all four kids (Trey has a croupy cough but will be just fine after a couple days of steroids), and I survived an afternoon of trying unsuccessfully to get the younger two to nap (don't know what was up with them today!), I yelled at Emily in a rage after she hit George on the face for apparently no reason, I later apologized to her (and she had obviously forgiven me long before), we took the kids to Red Robin for dinner, then I nearly went into another rage when they melted down about the color of balloons they were getting on the way out.

I had sweet moments with the kids today where they made me laugh in silliness, then fast forward a few minutes and I had completely lost my patience again with a juice spill. I was encouraged when I received a compliment from the nurse that I "had it all together" (yes, she actually used those words... what reality was she in?! ... there is no way I had it all together at that crazy, out-of-control doctor's visit!), then later I was disgusted with my reaction to the boys fighting and that pride came crashing down again.

I'm not sure who I was today. I guess I need a break, or sleep, or some pampering, or an infusion of patience and some other various fruits of the Spirit - or all of the aforementioned ... Although, now that I think of it, last night I had a significant break from the kids with some girlfriends - rich conversation over a great meal, and the night before that Leon pampered me with a fabulous foot rub (yes, he's an awesome husband!), and I have been getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night lately, and I really think the Holy Spirit was what/who helped me calm down and not give Emily a good whipping for hitting George (I mean what sense does that make, but I did have the inclination.) So, I really have no excuse for that "bad mom" side coming out so much today.

I'm just glad kids are (and God is) so good at forgiving and forgetting. And I'm glad it's the weekend, when Leon's home. And I'm so thankful I can start over again...
...which reminds me of a great song:

"You can’t change what you’ve done, but you can choose who you’ll become.

Every moment is a second chance at starting over.

Move from the past to the present tense. You can start over. Start over again..."

www.myspace.com/addisonroad

Those Dog Days of Summer

Yes, we're there ...

...nearing the end of summer... the heat preventing most outdoor play ... and no more camps, VBSs, or vacations... just days of empty space begging to be filled until school starts. It's in August each year when our family always seems to just get tired of each other. We've been together 24/7 for just a little too long.

The kids are fighting over nothing. I've decided that they like to fight because it's something exciting to do... might as well get the adrenaline of yelling, screaming, name-calling and punching going when the alternative is boring quiet calmness. And I'm finding myself enjoying the use of an escalated voice here and there, too, when I jump in to stop the fighting with complete exasperation! Then we all just yell and scream and cry together... which occasionally will turn into laughing - and it makes us all feel better. (Although sometimes it just makes things worse... and then we all have to go to separate rooms and then apologize to each other... while I just pray Leon somehow comes home early that day.) But really, it's not that much fighting. It could be worse.... it's just that as the day goes on anything can get annoying.

It's really amazing what moms can find to do, when there's nothing on the calendar...

At the beginning of the summer I had a "theme week" for the kids, where we planned for Father's Day all week. We made place mats one day, picked a Father's Day meal menu one day, shopped for the stuff the next day, make coasters one day, and then all helped cook the meal for Leon on Saturday.... I have yet to do another theme week, but I have given them some projects occasionally: like making creatures out of a package of straws and tape, making buildings and people out of marshmallows and toothpicks, and of course play-do and lego's are always great to create things. (Although these projects never seem to take as long as I think they will.) And I've been saving (recycling) plastic lids, toilet paper tubes, boxes, bottles, and such all summer long, so when I can't come up with anything else to do, I can just pull out my stash of goodies and say "Go for it, kids! Create something!" ... and 30 minutes later they'll say, "what are we doing next, mom?"

Then there are the creative outings... I mean, you can't just go do the expensive things all the time - like Chuck E. Cheese (awful!) or the movies (especially with a 12 mo old) or Hawaiian Falls (the local water park). Those things are once-a-summer things for us. SO, you have to get creative to think of free, easy things with AC. We've gone up to our church activities center so they can run around in the gym, we've visited several fast food joints with play areas, we've visited Daddy's office, and we've invited ourselves over to friend's houses with pools. :)

And then a couple days ago we did something a little different...

Inspired by a friend who has done this a few times this summer, I told the kids we were going to go share some things and be a help to some homeless people. We gathered all our little hotel toiletries that we had collected over the last year or so and made them into individual bags. We did the same with some snacks and bottled water, and then drove down to downtown Dallas. Now, if I had pre-planned this, I would have gone to the dollar store and gotten great deals on lots of items, and probably made it more than it needed to be. (And maybe someday we will do more.) But for this day, it was just right - 5 bags of toiletries, 6 bags of snacks, and 12 bottles of water.

When I got to downtown, I actually became a little overwhelmed that I only had these few bags, and I kept seeing groups of displaced people who I just drove on past. I couldn't stop and not have enough for each person. I asked God to just let us find one or two here and there who needed what we had. So, I made a stop at city hall to gather my thoughts. After getting out in the heat to play a while on the lawn at City Hall, we got back in the air conditioned van and drove around to find some folks in need.

Now, Emily was on board with this outing from beginning to end. She helped get the bags together, and inquired about what it meant to be homeless, and said she wanted to be the one to hand them the bags. Meanwhile the older boys weren't quite as excited at my choice of an outing. Trey deemed it boring and asked to stay home (I didn't let him.) and Timothy was pretty indifferent, as long as he had his ipod for the ride. But something happened as we started looking for people... compassion happened! The first man we saw was alone with all his possessions, complete with stacks and stacks of papers, outside an abandoned building under the shade of an awning. I stopped the van, got out to give him the things and a smile, and the kids were silent. When they realized that this was his home, that these are real people, they all became interested in finding just the right people for our offerings. As we drove, we picked out people who looked tired, worn, in need of refreshment. I know we only put a drop into a very large bucket, but it was something. ... and now the kids have a little more understanding of the world out there in need. It was a pretty good way to spend the day!

The dog days of summer will be over soon, and we'll return to our busy lives filled with school, activities, and sports. I pray we'll make time for meaningful moments and just being together as a family... and that we'll continue to keep our eyes open for those we can serve in love.

Interesting NOTE: I just googled "dog days of summer" and in case you didn't know, that name comes from the star Sirius (Dog Star) which is the brightest star this time of year. It appeared just before the season of the Nile flooding, so the ancient Egyptians considered this star as a "watch dog" for that event. And since it also coincided with the season of most extreme heat, the connection was made with hot and sultry weather for all time.

My Fabulous Kiddos!

I love this picture! Maybe it's the innocence... maybe it's the cuteness... maybe it's that Leon and I seem to have bath time under control (looks can be deceiving)... whatever the case (and I'm sorry if this ever embarrasses you, kids) here are my wonderful, amazing, precious children. Let me introduce you to Emily (3), Trey (9), Timothy (6), and George (1).

Below are some other great shots that capture each child's personality... and yes, I know Emily has two pics... that's because she's a girl and both shots capture important parts of her complex personality :)

Emily is all girl, yet she can wrestle and pillow fight with the best of 'em. Her imagination is incredible and she has a sharp sense of humor. Timothy is laid back, smart, creative, sensitive, and loves to give hugs. Trey is sports oriented and loves competition. He is great at helping out with George, and he's teetering on the edge of that wonderful "tween" stage. George is a happy kid who loves music and drumming and splashing in the tub or pool.

Being a mom to these children is an honor, a joy and a blessing! There will be oh-so-much more said about my children as my blogging days continue.... but I think this was a great start. Enjoy!

BUG OFF!

It's been three full weeks now that we've had the BUG in our family... yes, the digestive track virus got us good! I think it has finally gone through all of us and has gone away, but I'm not completely sure, since this thing is a doozey! You'd think we never wash our hands and drink after each other at every meal... (Okay, that might describe us on some days, but not for the last three weeks... we've been so careful since the bug hit!)

We've successfully passed it to Leon's parents and sister's family, too, while we were down in New Orleans for vacation. I feel so bad about that! I really thought we were done before we went down there. Emily and George had gotten it and were better. But then it reared it's ugly head again just as we got settled in at Leon's parents' home, hitting Leon and Trey. And then it got to me the day Leon and I stole away for a two-night rendezvous in the Garden District. Our Commander's Palace and K Paul's meals, meant to be the highlight of the trip, became more of a test in what my tummy could take. Although the trip ended up being less than romantic because of the BUG, Leon's surprise purchases of the book I had wanted to get (The Shack - see last post), and a suite with a jacuzzi tub actually made the illness much more bearable for me than being at home taking care of the kiddos while camping out near the toilet.

The craziness of this thing is that it lingers. I won't give too much detail, but suffice it to say that I'm still having to watch what I eat, 10 days into this thing! And it has made for some interesting conversations in our home, too, that somehow seem perfectly acceptable: "That was just a cough, mom, I didn't throw up." "How was your poop today, back to normal yet?"

Then just when I thought we were out of the woods, Timothy got it on Saturday. Today he seems to be just fine today, so I'm really praying this is the end... There are no more members of Team Verriere left to attack. So, BUG OFF, BUG!

On an ironic positive note: surviving a sicknesses like this is a badge of honor for moms... it's kind of like a right of passage to have to clean up all the bodily fluids you can imagine from your family members. So to all those moms out there who have survived a stomach bug that tore through your family, you go girls! You held your nose, clenched your teeth, and you did it! Stand proud!.... and then pray it doesn't hit again anytime soon!

The Shack Phenomenon

My latest favorite book is The Shack by William Paul Young. I'm not being original here apparently, since it's been on the New York Times Best Seller list for 9 weeks now, with 2.5 million copies sold; Oprah's reading it now, there's a movie deal for it, and Jay Leno even mentioned it on the Tonight Show!

So, why is this book so great, you might ask? Well, my short answer is that it gives us a glimpse of God - with skin on! :)

All people have been created by God. And so whether we've grown up in the Judeo-Christian West and maybe are the poster child for the Bible Belt, pray to Mecca five times a day, believe in spells and evil spirits, claim there is nothing but science and believe that our need for God is just a human weakness to overcome, or anything in between, we all have a desire to know God, somewhere deep within us. And especially those of us who engage in a growing relationship with God would just love to really know who God is, what he'd be like if we could physically sit near him and ask him questions face to face.... The hard questions like Why can't/don't you stop all bad things from happening?... Why do you answer some prayers in wonderful ways and others with dreaded outcomes?... Why do good people/children have to suffer?... How can you love someone as messed up as me?...

In The Shack, we get to know, in Young's view, who God is ...with beautiful imagery, descriptions rich with emotion, and amazing words sometimes hard to read through the tears. The mass appeal of this book I think is due to our broken world's need for love. All who read this book are met head on with the immense width, length, height and depth of the love of Christ. Young gives us "God with skin on" so that we can go further in our imagination to discover who our Maker is... even if it is still just a glimpse more.

Of course, I recommend reading The Shack and passing along the copy to someone else when you're done. It's an easy read and hard to put down, so you'll likely get through it in a weekend or so. It's not a book with "churchy" words or Bible quotes. Since you get to know God himself, there is no need for that. I promise that it's different than anything you've ever read. If you'd like to dig in more or read an excerpt, go to the website: http://www.theshackbook.com/. And maybe this phenomenon can start a revolution of love in you, as it has in me.

Ephesians 3:14-21

Why we do the things we do

So, today my family and I got out in the crazy HEAT! The temp is somewhere around 105 and then the heat index is unmentionable, plus we're under a "Severe Heat Warning" and Ozone Alert! Yes, it's CRAZY HOT in TEXAS! Although it wasn't the most fun reason in the world to be out in the killer heat - like going to a water park or even just swimming - it was meaningful and purposeful: to help a new friend.

We heard about this family from one friend. We borrowed a truck from another friend. Then took it and loaded up furniture and stuff from yet some other friends who are moving and didn't need it anymore, and took it to these new friends - a family who is trying to get back on their feet who did need the stuff. Just being in the heat makes you sweat, not to mention loading and unloading furniture and boxes and groceries. So, we were quite dehydrated at the end of the task. But now the Alvarezes have some much needed stuff, and the kids got to meet some new friends too. Lots of our friends were involved in some way or another, and all in all it was a very productive afternoon.

But, the question on my mind is, why do we do things like that? Why do we help others - even when it costs us time and energy?

I mean, being Christians, we're taught to be kind to others, help those in need, WWJD, and all that... so that could be one reason: following a commandment, being obedient. And I'd like to think that we were obedient to God's call and purpose in our lives today. But is that really why we did it? I don't know. And if we simply acted out of "oughtness" wouldn't that take some of the joy away?

And then there's what we get from it... it makes us feel good to be a help to someone, to be needed, to receive thanks, etc. It does make me feel good to have been more purposeful with my time than cleaning the house (or taking a nap) and the kids watching TV all afternoon, which is what we would likely have done otherwise. So, did we do it because it makes us feel better about ourselves and gives us meaning? Maybe.

And then there are other reasons I can think of that seem a bit conceptual like relationships, friendships, community, love. ... Now this is where my reasons seem to land today. I really hope we helped some new friends for their sake, not ours. I hope we loved on them a little - and not just today, but in the days to come as we get to know them better. I hope they are able to rise above their current situation and be able to pay it forward - to others, or even us - someday.

I hope we helped someone today for the sake of a new friendship... for the sake of living in community with others in this world... and out of the purity that is Love. Lofty aspirations for a simple afternoon, I know.... but then you've gotta aim high and dream big, right?!