The Good Dance: Peace in the Pain

Joy and pain simultaneously erupting. Thankfulness and desperation both swirling around and welling up. Elation and grief co-habitating.

The whys and hows of this duality are beyond me. But the longer I live, the more I understand and accept that this is how life is to be. In fact, this is where life is lived: in the dance among the many polar emotions and paradoxical notions of our existence. And it is good. Somehow very good.

I was part of a wonderful weekend retreat with women of all ages and stages. It was marked by both a joyful recognition of our beloved identity in God, and the acknowledgement of deep pain and struggling within the lives of many of us. I believe without the co-existence and dance between both of those realities we would not have experienced the meaningful weekend of growth and reflection that we each ended up having.

Then today I have been struck by events near and far. From the completely devastating typhoon in the Philippines thousands of miles from me, to the devastating news of a next door neighbor's baby's death, to the devastating set back in the adoption process within my own family to bring my nephews home to my sister and brother-in-law, I am overwhelmed with the pain and struggle that constantly dwells in the lives of all of humanity.

Yet today I am not finding myself in a state of depression or feeling down. Rather I somehow feel incredibly peaceful and uplifted by the presence of a God I cannot explain. A God so powerful and expansive I cannot describe or fathom. I rest in the peace and calm of God's sovereignty to be in and through all things, connecting and loving all people, comforting and calling each soul to go beyond circumstances to a place of peace and goodness in Him.

My soul is well today.
Amidst the mess and the goodness.
Finding rest and joy and peace.
Embracing the "both/and"s of life.
In a very good dance.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~

These verses have been soothing and brought a joyful peace to me today:

But me he caught—reached all the way
    from sky to sea; he pulled me out
Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos,
    the void in which I was drowning.
They hit me when I was down,
    but God stuck by me.
He stood me up on a wide-open field;
    I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!

-- Psalm 18:16-19 MSG

I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born.

-- Isaiah 66:9 ERV

Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.
    It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?
There it is! I’m making a road through the desert,
    rivers in the badlands.

--Isaiah 43:19 MSG