You Are Beautiful

Oh my goodness, the angst and drama we put ourselves through when we ignore who we truly are!

We should have confidence that who we are is enough. However - whether we're consciously aware of it or not - most of us doubt. Maybe it's a silent, underlying doubt, but when we're pressed into the fire, we tend to doubt. We doubt our abilities, we doubt our worth, we doubt ourselves!

It can be an emotional roller coaster ride.

We want to feel like we've earned our worth. If we've done something we consider worthy of love, or if we feel like we look attractive enough to be liked, then we lift our heads and have times of what we think is self-esteem. We feel we deserve the love. But, equating our accomplishments and attractiveness with our worth can lead us to egotism, ultimately empty and unfulfilling.

As soon as we make choices we're unhappy with or that people react negatively to, or we don't measure up to the images we consider acceptable, we revert back to our underlying negative beliefs about ourselves: We are messed-up. We need fixing. We are not worthy.

We may wallow in our mistakes and create highly disproportionate guilt. We tell ourselves on the ever-repeating recording in our heads that we have to do better and be better, that we're not good enough. We wonder why anyone would like us or would love us or even cares.

Do you relate? Even those with decent self-confidence, have you ever been there? I'm guessing yes.

There is a better way.

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The beginning of fulfillment in life is to recognize our true worth.

We must cease to value ourselves based on our own terms of measurement. Instead we must embrace God's view of us: You are a divine creation, loved and treasured so profoundly and completely, words cannot begin to describe it's measure. You are beautiful.

Yes, we need to remember who we are.

Jesus came to remind us who we are. He came to show us our true worth. He came to bring fulfillment to our lives. (John 10:10)

Walk through the scriptures and see. All who came in contact with him with openness were made whole. Over and over he called people to turn from their current ways of thinking in order to live out the highest version of themselves.

The most compelling image of this is found in John 13, when we see Jesus quietly and lovingly take on the servant's towel and wash the feet of his disciples. As we all would be inclined to do, Peter refuses Jesus' service, to which Jesus replies, "If I do not wash you, you can have nothing in common with me."

Christ, our Lord and Teacher, washes our feet and reminds us of our worth. We are precious souls of highest value, aligned with Christ himself.

Yet, we find it hard to receive undeserved love. It is humiliating to our ego, because we want to think we have earned any love that we get by our merits or attractiveness. We have to realize that we don't earn love when we're flying high on success and righteousness anymore than we earn love when we're in the midst of rebellion and doubts. Our worthiness to be fully loved is separate from anything we can do, or not do. We are worthy to be loved simply because we were created by God.

When we genuinely believe that truth, we are able live out the life He calls us to live with courage and without reservation! Through the power of the Holy Spirit, we daily are reminded and transformed into the ultimate expression of who we are. That is where our beauty and self-confidence abides, in the Holy Spirit within us.

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I find myself on a new adventure: a calling I am following, as a speaker, writer, and encourager.

There were times years ago when I could see myself speaking to moms' groups. I thought I would speak on topics of motherhood, activities to do with kids, and stuff I knew so well, I could do in my sleep. My view then was that I would feel fully capable and equipped if I ever chose to do this.

Now that God has stretched me a great deal over the last several years and called me to pursue this path, it's actually much different than I would have imagined back then. I am addressing topics of spirituality and life lessons, topics that reach to the core of who we are and what we become, a much deeper subject matter than I feel qualified to teach. Yet it is clearly what God is leading me to do, and I cannot do otherwise.

The calling is beyond my capacity, and while I am regularly assured that this is my path, I still am fighting doubts. Who am I to speak on these topics? Why would anyone want to hear what I have to say? But I must let the Holy Spirit remind me who I am, and I must allow my confidence and courage to rest on Her presence within me.

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Jesus came to remind us who we are; and following his example, we can do that for others. We can remind them who they are! 

Yesterday when I was swirling around in doubt, Leon (my hubby) reminded me who I was. He recognized my struggle, but instead of addressing it head on (i.e. trying to fix it), he handled it delicately with an attitude of care and words of affirmation. He devoted some undivided attention to me and engaged with me in a meaningful spiritual conversation which always strengthens the soul connection between us. It was in that conversation that I remembered my worth, remembered my value, and regained my courage and confidence - not in myself so much as in God's ability to work through me. I recognized that I am enough, just the way God made me.

This has been a lesson for me in what I can do for others, by following Christ's example. It's actually what I believe this calling of mine to be about.  I seek to wash the feet of those I meet - through my writing, speaking, or everyday life - to serve them, lift them up, and remind them of who they truly are.

Friends, you are beautiful!

NOTE: Richard Rohr writes about God as Servant, when Jesus washed the disciples feet, in his book Radical Grace, Daily Meditations. My thoughts here have been shaped in part by his meditation I read today.