A New Year’s Resolution… for your Marriage

It’s that time again: time for the resolutions!

Leon and I are part of a marriage-strengthening ministry called ReEngage. With that on my heart and mind, I've come up with some suggestions for a New Year's Resolution for your marriage. After all, besides your relationship with God, your marriage is the most important relationship you will ever have! It deserves your effort and energy!

So, while you’re in the spirit of making positive changes and putting efforts into things that need improving, here’s a resolution for your marriage you can get excited about!

Sometime within the next week sit down with your spouse and your calendars and schedule one date night a month for the next five months. This will take you up to the summer when you may just decide to do it again! Write your date nights in ink on your calendar. Make these dates a priority: appointments you have to keep! If you really, really need to cancel one, reschedule it on the spot.

A couple of weeks out from those dates make sure to schedule a babysitter if needed and make reservations or plans in advance. To help you get creative and offer alternatives to simply “dinner and a movie,” here are some special date nights for you to try. Each month pick from one of these dates below.

·         Romantic Date Night – Sometimes we all need a little romancing!

o   WIFE: Decide with your husband on your favorite nice restaurant, and you plan a nice surprise of something fun afterwards like dancing …or parking somewhere with a romantic view.

o   HUSBAND: Make reservations at the restaurant, get flowers for her to begin the evening, open doors for her and treat her like you adore her.

o   BOTH: Get dressed up, put on your best scent, and plan several compliments and adorations of your spouse to slip into the conversation throughout the evening.

·         Back to Beginnings Date – Pretend you’re teenagers out on a date!

o   No need to dress up.

o   Go to your favorite casual, inexpensive place to eat.

o   Share an ice cream or froyo or latte at a local place afterwards.

o   Spend the night reminiscing about when you met and were first dating… Look how far you’ve come… And share your dreams for your lives for the future.

o   You could even go walking in the mall holding hands or kiss at the door before you go in the house for old-time’s sake! J

·         Comedy Fun Night - Laughing together is good medicine!

Pick one or more of these ideas …and end with a tickle fight in bed at home. J

o   Rent and watch funny movies. Search the internet for “funniest movies of all time” to get you started. Each of you pick one to watch. Pop some popcorn and get your abs ready.

o   Go to a local comedy club and let someone make you laugh for a while.

o   Let loose, be kids again, and play your favorite silly game with just the two of you. Try the Heads Up app, Truth or Dare (do some funny dares!), karaoke to funny songs from your younger years, or just sit in front of the mirror and see who can make the silliest faces.

o   Tell each other the funniest stories from your own life growing up or your family life together. What moments can you look back on and laugh at now?

·         Goodwill and Kindness Date – Serving together builds memories and bonds like nothing else!

This one may need to be during the day, so plan ahead accordingly. Find a service you can do together for someone or an organization, and enjoy a meal together afterwards taking time to share what it meant to you to serve. Here are some ideas.

o   Serve the homeless a meal at a soup kitchen or shelter.

o   Visit elderly in a nursing home and plan to sit down and have a conversation with them.

o   Visit a shut-in and plan to do some needed chores for them.

o   Work a few hours at a local food bank.

o   Think of someone you know who may be struggling financially and go shopping for some luxury grocery items for a special meal; then deliver it secretly with an anonymous note.

o   Get creative and think of a way you could be a blessing to someone together for a few hours.

·         Intimate Indoor Picnic – Got to keep those home fires burning!  

You’ll need to have the kids cared for away for this one (grandma’s house, church childcare, friend’s house, etc.) You could also choose to make this a mid-day lunch date if kids are in school/daycare and/or that works best with your schedules.

o   WIFE: Find an area of the house to lay out a picnic cloth and make it comfortable enough for after-dinner activities. Light some candles (in safe places) and put on some nice music. Dress in something you both find sexy.

o   HUSBAND: Go pick up to-go food and bring it home. Consider some romantic picnic foods (wine and cheese and crackers, champagne and strawberries, chocolates, etc.) Flowers could be nice, too. Make sure you smell nice and dress the part as well.

o   BOTH: Before the date write a note for your spouse telling him/her how you find him/her attractive. During the meal, exchange notes or read them aloud to each other. Enjoy the meal. Feed one another. Undress one another. Enjoy the picnic!

·         Share-a-Hobby Date – Do you know what your spouse enjoys doing in his/her free time?

Plan a date doing something around your hobbies. See if you can fit both of your interests in during the date, and be genuinely interested in learning about your spouse’s hobby. You can get creative with all kinds of pastimes, but here are some examples:

o   Cooking – Shop for some specialty ingredients together, then cook a meal together. Be sure to feed one another some test bites along the way, and set a nice table with candles and use the nice china.

o   Sports – Go play a game together or watch a game together, learning/teaching the rules and strategies that make the game a favorite. Make it a challenge to learn/teach all you can about the sport!

o   Art – Go to a painting or pottery place and get creative together! Make memories and have fun while you do it. You’ll end up with a great memento of your date!

o   Reading – Go browse the shelves at a local bookstore. See if you can find some interesting facts to share about a topic you both love; read some jokes from a joke book together; look for a romantic line in a book to use on your spouse; shop the bargain books for the oddest titles.

o   Home Improvement – Create a scavenger hunt to complete in the aisles of your local home-improvement store: the most unique item, the most energy efficient item, the most obscure item you can describe what it’s used for, an item made of plastic, metal and wood, etc.

o   Running or Cycling – Run or ride to and from a local park or nice spot where you can stop and enjoy a beverage or small meal and good conversation. Be sure to shower up together afterwards. J

The more energy you put into your spouse and these dates, the more you’ll grow closer together and the stronger your marriage will become.

The key is in the planning... in other words, don't just read this and think, "That's a good idea. Maybe we'll do that." Instead go schedule those dates right now! We're going to!

Your marriage is worth it!

Have fun dating your spouse in 2014!