Sing a New Song

I love singing.

I'm not the best at it, but I love it. Singing lifts my spirits ...and songs hold such deep meaning. Singing a lullaby softly to my little ones warms my soul. Singing a song in worship brings the Divine nearer. Putting on a favorite track, turning up the decibels, and belting out the lyrics is sometimes such a needed release!

My favorite to crank up loud right now is Some Nights by Fun. But I also remember doing that as a kid with Believe it or Not (the theme song to Greatest American Hero) and Barry Manilow's Mandy (Yes, I'm showing my age and am embarrassed to admit he was my first celebrity crush). And then there was She's Lost That Lovin' Feeling when Top Gun was all the rage, and Back in Black, when I was in that rebellious teenage stage (and didn't even really know the words).

Singing along to Fairest Lord Jesus reminds me of church as a child, when some friends and I performed in the worship service with creative movement (i.e. dance). Singing Pass It On and People to People takes me back into the chapel at FBC, Shreveport when once in a while the evening Sunday service would be all congregation's choice of hymns from the "new" Baptist Hymnal- my favorite at the time.

Bad English's When I See You Smile is one Leon and I used to sing to each other. It was our song. Gotta love those late '80s rock ballads.

The short chorus Father I Adore You is one I sing in prayer often, and one that holds memories of my sisters and parents and I singing in a round.  Amy Grant's and Rich Mullins' versions of Sing Your Praise to the Lord are both moving to me - and usually remind me that I wish I would have stuck with piano lessons longer or took them more seriously.

Sisters from White Christmas... Edelweiss from Sound of Music... Maria from West Side Story... all take me back to those priceless family movie nights as a kid.

Singing Casting Crown's Lifesong always fills me up, and will always remind me of my Daddy. It had been his favorite song when he died in March of 2008. He would put the CD in the player in his big ol' conversion van, crank up the volume and we would sing every word with passion ...just like we did in 1975 with the Doobie Brothers in the VW bus. :)

I could go on and on.

Lauds Today

Songs are important to us as humans - as spiritual beings. God created us that way. To sing songs. New songs. Songs of prayer, praise, and expression. To sing from the depths of our souls. Because our Creator knows that sometimes words or thoughts or actions alone fall short of expressing what bubbles up and is bursting forth from inside of us.

This morning I experienced something brand new to me. Leon and I went to Lauds at a local monastery in Covington, St. Joseph Abbey & Seminary, pictured above. Early every Sunday morning, as the new day is dawning - before mass, before the day begins, before they speak - the monks ring the bells then sing praises to God in the Abbey... beautiful praises to God.

Some of you Catholic friends may have experienced this before, but it was a first for me! When I saw it on their weekly schedule posted online, Something inside of me said I had to go. A simple act of singing praises to God to begin the week is not only a testimony for all who hear, but also a heart-aligning practice that is Truly Good. It was so lovely. Thank you to the St. Joseph monks for your gift to us this morning!

Did you know that SING is the most frequent command expressed in the Bible?* Over 200 times, in various ways, scripture tells us to sing! From Exodus to Psalms to Isaiah to Colossians to James and in between, God says, "sing!"

Sing to the Lord! Sing a new song! Burst forth with praises!

Sing for joy. Sing of His mighty works. Sing of His wonderful ways. 

Proclaim to the nations. Sing for all the world to hear.

Sing of his Love! Sing of his justice. Sing among all the peoples!

 

Sing, "He is good; his love endures forever!"

Why sing?

What does singing do that just saying doesn't? What's so important and unique about a song?

Songs communicate from deep to deep. They speak from the depths of our souls into the depths of our souls. They say what simple words cannot. They evoke emotion, move us, change us.

Songs last. They last in our minds and memories. They last in our relationships and families. They last in our communities and cultures. They last through generations.

Songs connect. They connect us to important moments in our past. They connect us to ancient truths from across history. They connect us to each other and to the Source of all Song.

Songs are seeds. Songs carry potential for infinitely more than they appear to be. Songs can spark life and passion in a barren wasteland of a soul or a society. Songs, like scripture, are alive with new meaning each time you visit them.

Singing engages us. Singing engages us communally. Even when we are singing alone, we sing words and music sung by others, created by others, or meant for others. Singing engages our right-brain, the creative part of us which connects us most to our Creator. (As opposed to talking, which uses our left-brain.) Singing engages us actively and passively at the same time: another perfect paradox.

Songs are alive. The command says over and over, "sing a new song." Surely there is nothing new under the Sun. True. Yet each time we sing, we sing a new song. It is yet another of the mysterious and wonderful paradoxes of our spirituality. We are alive! We are ever-growing and ever-changing. We are ever-learning and ever-experiencing. So as we sing a song - whether new to our hearts or one repeated everyday - the "alive" in us meets the "alive" in the song and we sing it new and fresh.

Every time a song is sung it holds potential for new truths to be revealed, for new ideas to be shaped, for our spirits to be refreshed and revitalized.

Have you ever sung a song a million times and then one day somehow you listened to the words differently and something new was revealed to you? So amazing!

Go ahead, sing.

Yes, all of us! Nothing in scripture mentions anything about having to be able to read music, sing a solo in front of others, or even carry a tune at all. God created you with your voice just as he wanted to hear it sung back to him!

Sing. Express yourself. Those thoughts, feelings, worries, joys bubbling up inside of you: let them out in the form of a song. You can pick a song, turn up the music, belt it out, and have some fun! You can pick another song, turn it low, sing along and contemplate the lyrics with reverence and awe. You can make up a song as your mind reels. You can look at artwork or nature and sing as it inspires you!

Whatever you do. Sing. You become more of who God created you to be as you do.

Yes... I love singing!


*You will also read/hear many places that the most frequent command in scripture is "Do not fear," which apparently appears somewhere around 80-100 times, and shows another very important aspect of our relationship with God. In this case "Sing" is likely not being considered a command in the same way "Do not fear" is, as it usually is not in the form of "The Lord says, Sing..." Many of the occurrences of "sing" grammatically as a command are from David in his psalms, but not all of them. And singing to the Lord can be found throughout scripture. It is undeniable that God calls his people to sing.

Be Light and Love Now

It was no accident that I blogged last Friday morning about having hope and joy in the midst of the brokenness of this world.

Immediately after I hit "publish" and posted the link on facebook, I was confronted with the tragedy of what happened in Connecticut. As the day went on, and the story was told with more clarity, the truth got worse and worse. The verse I blogged about spoke even deeper to my soul: "I will not cause pain, without allowing something new to be born." says the Lord. Isaiah 66:9 NCV  How could this be? I don't know. But God can redeem all things. And to that truth I hold tight!

Life is full of paradox and contradictions. This week I have wrestled with some of them for sure!

• On one hand I know that God was with those children and teachers, holding them as they experienced the fear and horror of the shooting and death around them, but on the other hand I cannot fathom how He could let it happen!
• On one hand my reaction is to call for armed guards at every school's entrance, and in the same breath I want to ban guns from existence.
• On one hand I want to hate the murderer and denounce him as pure evil, and then my next thought is to grieve deeply for his own mental illness and how he was bullied and treated poorly throughout his young life.
• One minute I'm praying for those precious victims and grieving the loss of the lifetimes they had before them, then the next I am thankful they are safe and sound in the arms of their Creator, and instead I grieve even more deeply for the children who survived and still have to live on earth with the horror of that day in their minds - a fate that seems even worse to me.

I won't ever claim to know for sure how to deal with evil and horrible tragedies like this, or how to legislate best to prevent them. I also can't claim to understand God and how He allows such things to continue - or how he allows His Name to be dragged into the mire of it all.

What I do know is that we are to be light and love to this world at all times, to all people, and in all circumstances. Divine Light and Love lived through us is the only thing that can stand against such things. Words and even beliefs fall short, but actions prove our hearts and create change. 

Richard Rohr wrote this about the Word of God and our belief in it:

"We do not think ourselves into a new way of living. We live ourselves into new ways of thinking. Without action and lifestyle decisions, without concrete practices, words are dangerous and largely illusory."

How I treat the least in my life when no one is looking is the testament of how I truly feel and believe! What a convicting thought! Oh, how I need to change!

That annoying little kid at the class holiday party yesterday who kept begging for another cupcake: What if I had knelt down and looked into his precious eyes, giving him my undivided attention and unconditional love for that moment. He probably would not have seemed annoying to me, but would have been a blessing to my heart, and mine to his. (I'm sure Adam Lanza could have benefited from more people in his life giving him the unconditional love and undivided attention he needed.) .... Father, forgive me!

As I have pondered this week questions like, What is God thinking? How can God redeem these families whose hearts are ripped to shreds over their loss? What are we to do?... these words of Rohr's also spoke deeply to me:

"There is probably no other way to understand God's nature except to daily stand under the waterfall of divine mercy and then become conduits of the same flow."

What a beautiful image I hope to make part of who I am and how I live! That is really the only answer to any of this. I am to immerse myself in God's mercy, love and light so much so that it flows out from me onto all those around me.

Be Light and Love Now to All. That is what will change this broken world!
Too simplistic? Possibly Yes... but probably No.... Either way, let's just begin to live it, and let's see.

A Cheery Disposition

I just realized how crappy this week has been... and then wondered why I've been singing Christmas songs aloud all morning long! At one point the kids even had to ask me to stop - apparently not everyone had as cheery a disposition as I. :) But I did get them to sing Frosty with me and everyone left with smiles.

We've had sickness and ailments which have caused a couple of missed parties and lunch dates (big bummer!), a jam-packed schedule otherwise, little mistakes and frustrating forgetfulness that has caused more running around, and now house-wide plumbing problems.

This week has been full of things trying to drag me down, but it has also been filled with many nuggets of blessings! A crock-pot of warm soup was dropped off at my door one day. I had a heart-warming conversation with a dear friend yesterday. I made a ton of progress on my Christmas shopping somehow this week. Our family is a part of a fantastic Christmas program at church that speaks to my soul every time we rehearse. I got to spend a day alone with my daughter this week (never mind that it was because of sickness - we still made it a fun day together). Oh, and I got my hair done and love it (which, btw, prompted my posting of a pic on facebook that ended up being a huge self-image boost... good grief, I have the best, most complimentary friends!!) And the list could go on and on, I'm sure.

It all has to do with your perspective and how you respond to your circumstances. Choose joy. But that's SO MUCH easier said than done, right!?

Recalling a list of my week's negative circumstances, I don't have a good explanation for my cheery self today. But compiling this list of my week's blessings, how could I not be cheery, really?! I have been keeping up with my meditation time with God, and my very thought-provoking Advent devotions, and I believe that has helped me maintain perspective in the midst of a very common (albeit, broken) life this week. I am so very thankful and thrilled that my inclination this week has been to flow with the rhythm of things, accept circumstances, and just proceed through them. That doesn't mean I have been cheery all week. I have still felt the pain of life, been brought to tears, felt deeply for my sick daughter and grieving friends. But this verse has come back to me over and over again. It is the promise which Advent holds,

"I will not cause pain, without allowing something new to be born." says the Lord.

Isaiah 66:9 NCV

What a beautiful promise!

As I sit here waiting on the rotorooter people to arrive, I should have knots in my back (my usual sign of stress) and be near tears of frustration over the literal and figurative crap that has been thrown my way.... Instead I'm feeling joyful. It must be because of the hope that this promise holds for my day... and my week ...and my life ...and for the world.

Here's to us all maintaining a cheery disposition, grounded in true Hope and Joy, throughout the holiday season! Merry Christmas everyone!

Be Still and Know - DAY 30!

It's Day 30! I have been meditating for 30 days straight, and blogging for most of those 30 days. It's been a really great experiment and an awesome journey. Blogging about my experiences has made me work through things and process more fully the amazing experiences I've had. And for that I thank you, my friends and readers! Thanks for hanging in there with me. Thanks for being open to different things. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me.

I've enjoyed the blogging enough that I likely will not stop altogether. I'll try to remember to post on facebook when I do write again, but please go ahead and join me via email (see the right sidebar) if you want. Honestly, today has been a whirl, and I don't think I have it in me to share all that these 30 days have taught me, so look for another post in the next few days with that.

All my Be Still and Know blog posts are here for any of you to read through, if you missed some or joined in late. I'd still love to read your thoughts and engage in discussion with any of you who wish to leave comments or even talk over lunch or lattes! It's been fun!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Today's meditation was simple but fulfilling. I spent time contemplating what God had shown me, after I spent some time in an advent devotional book. This is a book that I had ordered a while back, but it just arrived yesterday. Sometimes God's impeccable timing must involve UPS. It is called Preparing for Christmas: Daily Meditations for Advent by Richard Rohr. And it was just what I needed! The depth of Rohr's wisdom is some kind of wonderful! In the very first entry he explains how Advent is about being awake.

"Keep awake therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming."

Matthew 24:42

Immediately this resonated so deeply within me. A few months ago I chose the word "awake" to represent the ultimate culmination of my True Self. "Awake" is my focal point, my goal, the destination of my journey. I want to be so completely open to and aware of - awake to - the Spirit's voice and guidance, that I live and move and dance within the rhythms of His purposes and plan for my life always.

So back to the devotional... when I read this part about Advent being a time for us to be awake to the coming of Christ, God had my attention! Rohr says, "Perfect fullness is always to come, and we do not need to demand it now."  For now we stay awake and alert, fully conscious, surrendered with hope for what is to come. He goes on to say, "The theological virtue of hope is the patient and trustful willingness to live without closure, without resolution, and still be content and even happy because our Satisfaction is now at another level, and our Source is beyond ourselves."

Wow, did you get that? It takes a few times reading it and chewing on it.

"...without resolution..." That, I believe, is the restlessness and angst I've been feeling the last few days, fighting against what is unresolved in this whole Advent thing, with an unwillingness to be content in it. Instead, I have to live with hope, being awake and fully willing to accept that complete fullness is to come. I must choose to live in the in-between. ... and that keeps my focus where it needs to be.

What is so stinking cool to me is that what I just wrote above - what I finally "got" through Richard Rohr's short devotional - is exactly the message I received yesterday in meditation from Jesus himself!  I love how God confirms lessons in the echos of His Truth in little details here and there.

(Now, we could debate back and forth about whether I was really talking to Jesus himself or not, during my time of meditation. I know that claim sounds arrogant, or delusional, or maybe to some people just plan wrong. But honestly - other than during this experiment when I'm blogging about my experiences - my deepest innermost personal times of meditation are only between me and God, so it's not really up for debate, even within my own mind. I have to trust. And based on what I know I experienced, I can most assuredly say that I was communicating with some form of my triune Source, visualized as Jesus by me. You may take that for what it's worth. The only way you will be able to know is to experience it yourself. I pray you do. :))

The Spirit moves throughout the weavings of our days, and if we are awake we notice.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I pray that my journey has inspired you to go deeper with God in whatever way He leads you. I pray that we all will awaken to the abundant life He has called us to live. And I pray that God's love and compassion will flow from each of us more freely and fully to the world around us.

Thank you for joining me on this journey! Love to all!

Be Still and Know - Day 29

When it comes to Advent and to meditation I've been in a state of frustration and tension, angst and unsettledness the last few days. (Thus the pause in blogging.) It's not really a pleasant place to be.

I haven't quite felt like meditation was going anywhere or doing anything. I know it's not necessarily supposed to go somewhere or do anything, but still, it's annoying.

And as for Advent, I've been reading all I can get my hands on - online devotionals, emailed devotionals, blog posts, snippets of books, and I'm not settled. I'm having trouble with this idea of anticipating the coming of Christ... when Christ has already come. I'm having trouble with identifying with the Jewish people of long ago, who were waiting desperately for the Kingdom of God to come... because the Kingdom of God is here! And I'm having trouble figuring out what I'm supposed to really feel and focus on during Advent.

My spiritual journey, and more recently my contemplative journey, has taught me that God is tangibly accessible at anytime, and that what Jesus taught about the Kingdom of God being at hand is right: when we live a life of love and compassion the way He taught us, we experience God on Earth; we experience the Kingdom of God being lived out here and now; we experience God With Us, Emmanuel. I know I'm supposed to crave that day when Christ returns. But honestly, while it sounds exciting and I know it will be wonderful, I also know that God is good here and now. I experience His Love and His Kingdom here and now - even in the midst of the brokenness of the world. So making myself long for that time when all will be well, ends up making me wallow in the awfulness of this world now, which seems so counter to what I have learned to do. (I don't know if this makes sense, but therein lies my frustration, I suppose.)

So what is Advent about?

In meditation this morning I was drawn to do some visualization. I put myself in a peaceful place, along the banks of the pond back at my family farm, hearing the birds and the leaves falling, the fish splashing and the ducks paddling. Jesus came and sat with me on the overturned boat I was using as my seat. I started to practically vomit out to him all of my frustrations. Then I fell silent as I heard him say with such loving eyes and peaceful voice, "Kim, you need to stop fighting against what is supposed to be. You need to be still." As I calmed my spirit, I came to know (not necessarily through Jesus' words to me, but by His presence) that this period of frustration, tension, angst and unsettledness is exactly what I'm supposed to feel and be going through. This is exactly what Advent is about. I am on the cusp of a new revelation about something, and before new revelation is always a period of angst.

Now that got me excited, and gave me a whole new perspective. The unsettled feeling is not gone. It is almost more intense. Not pleasant, but now expectant. I can't really explain it. My heart is heavy, but if this is purposeful, then I revel in experiencing it, instead of pushing it away.

In a story about the night Jesus was born by Max Lucado, which I read this morning, one phrase shouted out to me: "God goes to those who have time to hear him - so on this cloudless night he went to simple shepherds."

Am I as available to God's coming as those shepherds watching their sheep that night? Do I have time to hear? Am I as simple and humble about who I am as those lowly shepherds were?

Those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength. Isaiah 40:31

As I mentioned, our pastor challenged our church to spend time this week in thanksgiving and in fasting. Fasting gives us space for God, while thanksgiving brings our focus to God. So for me, both of those things have brought me to a place to do just that: to have time to hear God. Even though it has been an unsettled place, I have heard Him, nonetheless. And for that I am truly thankful!

God goes to those who have time to hear. Max Lucado

Be Still and Know - Day 27

Today I cleaned out my refrigerator.
Wow. When was the last time I did that? Um... don't remember.

Today I cleaned out my refrigerator.
An unknown, really awful, putrid, stinky something made me do it.

Today I cleaned out my refrigerator.
And I saw myself.

I saw how the shelves at eye-level were pretty clean and organized. That's the part I clean out once every couple of weeks or so, when the left overs get to be too many and have to be thrown out. That's the part that you see when you open the fridge a dozen times a day. BUT that wasn't the part where the smell came from.

The smell came from something down in the bottom, forgotten, rotten, reeking. That's the part you don't see. That's the part you can ignore - until the rotten funk finally screams out at you. That's the part that maybe you get to cleaning out once a year, or longer if you're me.

I could have chosen to leave that thing rotting down there. But pretty soon the refrigerator would be useless for it's purpose of keeping our food fresh. Pretty soon none of us would want to open the fridge... So, I tackled that awful job today.

Two hours, three sinks-full of pine sol and water, five rags, and one wet mess all over my kitchen was what it took. Whew, what a task!

But now it's clean and smelling fresh once again! Wonder how long it will stay that way? Maybe I should think about more regular fridge-cleaning maintenance.

I'm like my refrigerator. I take care to clean out the stuff on the surface and the stuff that's accessible by others on a daily basis. I look pretty clean and smell okay when people look at me - just at eye-level. But sometimes there's something rotting down below inside of me. When it's way past time for me to deal with it, it begins to smell, to remind me that it's there. And if I don't deal with it, it will drive away others, and eventually ruin my purpose. So, before I let that awful funk run amok, I've got to clean out and clean up!

That's what daily meditation has begun to do for me. No longer can something unsightly go unnoticed. When I'm in meditation, it's amazing how things pop up. It's not always pretty. But the cleansing process is necessary and good. Allowing for daily refreshing and refining is much, much better than waiting until the rotten mess spews out onto others and clean-up is messy and takes forever.

There you go... How's that for an analogy?
I may never look at my refrigerator the same way again.

Oh, and to those of you who clean out your whole fridge regularly, don't judge... just try to go with the metaphor. :)

Be Still and Know - Day 26

A jam-packed Christmas season weekend meant that I had to take a break from blogging... from blogging, not meditating. I did meditate these last three days. Yes, even in the insanity! They were just short and sweet times.

It definitely is a blessing to have a practice to go to which brings calmness and connection in the midst of a crazy schedule. Before engaging in this practice of meditation, I used "down time moments" like reading a book or vegging in front of the TV, but I did not usually go to a time of prayer for relaxation or refreshment. I think prayer for me was more work and required energy from me that I didn't necessarily want to or had to give (probably because it was so one-sided). Now I see my practice of meditation as so life-giving, that it is something I crave no matter how hectic the schedule. Can you see the awesomeness of that!?

I can hardly believe that all of my years growing up in the church, I never knew about meditation and how important it is. I was taught verses like "Be Still and Know that I am God." But I am sad to say that I was NOT taught what that really meant. Maybe those of you reading had different experiences growing up in the church. Maybe you were taught how to pray in this way that truly connects you to your Creator, rather than just talking to God. Or maybe you just "got it" somehow through other means. But I did not. Thankfully, God spoke to me clearly through circumstances, other people, and scripture... but rarely through prayer. I was missing out on so much.

It is the beginning of a new year (in the tradition of the Church, anyway), which means it is Advent. We eagerly wait in expectation of the fulfillment of a precious Promise. I plan to observe Advent personally in a way I have not before - through daily readings and meditation. On the one hand, I wonder if I'm setting myself up for failure, knowing how a full schedule can easily fill time I want to allot for this. But on the other hand, I am so expectant of how even more fully God can reveal Himself to me through this practice, that I don't think I'll want to miss a moment of it. We shall see how it goes.

Our pastor challenged us this morning to do two things this first week of Advent. 1) Every day tell someone something you are thankful for, and 2) Give up something this week.

I plan to give up sweets (There, I put it in writing, so now I have to follow through, right?)
And as for being thankful...

Today, and every day, I am SO very thankful for meditation - a way to connect my spirit with The Spirit!