Back in September, on Labor Day, I ran my very first 5K race. It was more than just physical journey to get there, it was a spiritual and emotional process, too. I had planned on blogging about it, and never finished the post.
But a couple of weeks ago (in keeping with January is the "season-for-getting-healthy") I was asked to share with my moms' group about my experiences training and running the 5K. So I pulled out what I had written, and I actually re-inspired myself! Funny how things like that happen.
It was good to read through my thoughts right after the race, and remember. So, I've started training again for another 5K, which I'll do with some friends this time. Can't wait to see what lessons I will learn about myself and life this time around!
I thought I'd share the unfinished post I wrote 4 months ago. I've chosen not to even edit it, as I had originally intended to do, because in its current state you can just sense the raw excitement and endorphins still in my blood from the exhilarating experience.
Maybe these lessons can inspire you, too. :)
Lessons Learned from a 5K Race ... Who Knew?!
Three months ago I got an idea in my head. “I think I’d like to run a 5k.” Why? I
have no idea. In part, getting in shape to run would be good for me. In part, I
turned 41 this summer, so I needed to prove that I can still do something
physical like this. In part, it would be pretty cool thing to accomplish for a
non-athlete like myself. So, at the advice of a runner-friend, I registered for
a race about 10 weeks out. Then the reality hit, and I kept vacillating between
“This is really no big deal,” and “What in the world have you gotten yourself
into?”
So,
after the important next step of buying a good sports bra :),
I set out to train. Little by little I built up my lung capacity, my leg
muscles, and my endurance. And 10 weeks later, I ran my very first 5k race!!
Reflecting
on the whole process, here are some things I learned.
1) You don't have to lose weight, look
cute in running shorts, or want to run marathons to be a runner. While all of
these things are great, they are not requirements to run a 5k, as I once
assumed. These 3 things - among others - were barriers in my mind to being a
runner. But now, they have officially been debunked. I didn’t go on a diet. I usually
looked pretty frumpy on my morning runs (and spent a whole day shopping for
acceptable sportswear for race day… and had to add long biker shorts to those
“cute running shorts” to make myself look presentable). And I do NOT want to
run marathons. Yet, I had a great time training and completing my 5k.
2) If you train well, it's really not hard! When
my runner friends told me that training makes the race easy (a concept at which
I scoffed with a huge eye-roll), they were right. I started out not being able to run 20 yards without feeling
like I would pass out, so the idea of running 3.1 miles with ease absolutely
seemed absurd. But after training 3 times a week, running longer and longer
periods of time, taking it slow, you gain confidence, along with your lung
capacity and stronger muscles, and somehow one day you actually run further
than you ever thought you could! When I began the race that day, I knew I would
finish because I had done it before in training. And really the only part of
the race that was difficult was an incline toward the end. But it was actually
good to push through it, making me stronger and prouder at the finish.
[This particular lesson has some real broader
life application. While it’s a truth as old as the human race, it’s one worth
noting here. When you want to make some action or skill a part of who you are,
practicing it regularly makes it come easy. Whether it’s connecting with God
through prayer, connecting with your husband with a kiss as he leaves and one
when he returns, eating more healthy foods, being more intentional about
friendships… whatever the goal, regular consistent practice over a period of
time will make that goal come easy.]
3) You can’t compare yourself to others to the extent that it
impedes upon celebrating the achievement of your own personal goals. My goal
was to complete a 5k race. I didn’t set out to come in first, or win any
awards, I just wanted to finish and be proud of my efforts. When I started
training, it was easy to find myself noticing friends who ran 15ks, triathlons,
marathons, super-marathons, and it made me question my own goal. “What
significance is running 3.1 miles when people run 10 times that? They deserve
to celebrate their achievement, but should I be proud of a little ol’ 5k race?”
I had to keep focused on my own personal
journey. If I began to compare myself to others out running in the mornings, or
friends Facebook posts of how far and how fast they went during their runs, or
to others running the 15k part of my race that day, I could have gotten
discouraged or distracted from my own journey to the finish. It’s easy to
compare ourselves to others, and there are healthy ways to do that. But our
goals, our paths, our journeys are our own. Finishing a 5k race was a big
accomplishment for me. I can celebrate that and be proud of it! (And by the
way, my friends who are runners were all so supportive. They didn’t scoff at my
5k. They knew it was big for me, and they encouraged me all along the way.)
4) Running gives you quality time with yourself. I thought I
would dread getting up to run in the mornings, and that this whole process
would be the test of my will over the pain of it all. But that, too, was
debunked. There’s something about running: You feel free. You feel alive. You
have time with your own thoughts. You realize what your “self-talk” is, and you
have a chance to change it. I actually enjoyed getting up to run. Not that I
was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed all the time as I walked out the door, but I
once I was running, it felt good to be with me. I think I needed that.
5) When
you set your mind to something, you can, in fact, accomplish it - even if it
seems crazy at the time, and even with bumps along the way. This
really was big for me. I’m pretty good at doing things I’m pretty good at
doing. In other words, prior to this 5k thing, goals I set and accomplishments
I make have usually fallen into the categories of something I enjoy doing or am
naturally good at doing. Running is NOT one of those things! So the fact that I
set my mind to this and completed it is HUGE! I am NOT a morning person. I have
never been able to get up early to exercise before my day starts. But somehow running
was life-giving enough, and I was determined enough, that I did it with not
much dread at all. When I wanted to roll
over and go back to sleep, I could remind myself of the soul-nourishing time I
was about to get to spend with myself, and about the thrill of accomplishing a
goal I was working toward, and that gave me the boost I needed to get up and
run even before the sun was awake! I also had a bump along the way that I had
to work through physically and psychologically. I hurt my gluteus medias (a
painful strain along my hip bone) about a month before the race. Since it
didn’t get better after taking a week off, I wondered if I would be able to run
the race at all. Through the advice of my running friends, I went to a sports
doctor. (Man did I feel out of place in there with all the ironman posters and
such!) I had to have 3 weeks of therapy
twice a week, plus homework therapy, which STINKS (and definitely makes one
feel OLD). But while I was not always chipper about it, I got through it! And
by the time I ran the race, I could hardly feel the injury. That in itself felt
like an accomplishment! The whole process really taught me determination.
6) Mind
over matter is a powerful thing. Positive self-talk allowed me to enjoy this journey.
Really! After a couple days of training I knew I needed to think about
who and what I wanted to be in this whole process. (I told you that running
gives you time to think.) So I came up with this: "I am a happy, healthy,
fit runner." While I trained, I repeated this to myself with the rhythm of
my steps. This truth got me through the “muck” of the tough runs, and helped me
keep the pace when I didn’t want to keep going. It kept a smile on my face and
helped me to tune out the muscle soreness or the fatigue. Not letting those
negative thoughts marinate in your brain really helps. The morning of the race
I added these thoughts, "Be here. Be now. Enjoy the dance." It sounds
funny, I know, but I knew I wanted to soak in everything about the race and not
just focus on the running. I felt like the journey I had been on to get here
had spiritual, psychological, and emotional components as well as
physical. That morning I wanted to
acknowledge God’s guidance through it all – his teaching me to “dance” in this
way. The race was like the performance of the dance, and I wanted to enjoy
every bit of it. And I did. I enjoyed the beauty of White Rock Lake and its
surroundings – the trees, the water, the grass, the pets, the patrons – all of
it! I enjoyed the warm breezes that refreshed me every so often, the warm sun
on my face when I emerged out from under the shade of the trees, and the fellow
racers with their different styles, different attitudes, and different methods.
I LOVED IT! One of my favorite moments was seeing a dad running the race at a
swift pace - enough to be passing me heading back to the finish before I had
reached the turn. He was pushing his two kiddos in a jogging stroller. The
whole time, his little girl was chanting “Go, Daddy, go! Go, Daddy, go!” How
could that not make you smile! And then, of course, I loved my own family
cheering for me! Yes, they stood out along the course and got lots of attention
from runners around me as they yelled, “Go Mommy! You can do it! We love you!
Go Kim!” I think I’ll keep those encouragements tucked away in my head to pull
out and replay for a long time to come!
7) Focusing
on yourself is important. Yes, I am a woman and a mom and that means it’s
really uncomfortable to focus on myself without feeling wrong, guilty, weird,
and out of sorts! I mean, I’m all for me-time when it comes to an hour or two
spent reading, journaling, having coffee with friends, or shoe shopping. But
this process of training for the 5k went much deeper than a few hours of
me-time. It took physical energy; it took time spent planning my runs; it took
emotional energy working through the aforementioned lessons. It felt odd to
leave the kids in the morning with their breakfast bars with a “I’m going out to
run. Call me if you need me.” I wouldn’t think anything of it, if I were going
to the store (for the family), but something felt a little wrong about leaving
them to do something that was for me. When I would be out on a run, I would
think about how weird it felt to be putting forth all this effort… for what?
…for me …not for the kids, not for Leon, not for family, not for friends, not
for the church, not for the school, not for a club …for ME. It was truly a new
concept, and I really am still working through it as I write. But I do know
that God is teaching me to work on myself. It’s an important thing. When I
spend time working on myself, I have more of myself to give, and I spend less
time trying to work on (change) others.
So that's where I stopped writing 4 months ago.
I have to add a few things I left out. First, I have to mention how it felt for my family and close friends to come to the race to cheer me on. Though this wasn't a huge race, and there were very few sideline cheerleaders, that didn't stop my crew from screaming and making a fool of themselves with cowbells and signs. Feeling their love and support was pretty awesome!
Another thing I didn't get to was the real spiritual component to the training. All of the lessons above worked deep down within my spirit and brought me closer to God. I know it may sound dramatic or silly or like I'm over-spiritualizing, but it's just true. 2012 was a real year of spiritual growth and depth for me, and training for a 5K played a role in that.
For example, one morning as I was running, a poem came to me.... really just came out of me... flowed out of me. I couldn't write it down obviously, but as the words and phrases came I repeated them and absorbed it all as I ran. I wrote it down as soon as I got inside. It was something I have never before experienced. Being outside running early in the morning meant that I got to see the stars twinkle and fade as the sun rose, and I heard the birds as they began to fly all around. So my soul apparently just burst forth with a poem as a response to God's presence and love in that moment. It was a beautiful and meaningful morning I'll never forget - certainly the most poignant moment in all of my training.
While running may never become a real passionate hobby of mine like many of my friends, I have come to enjoy the experience of it. It was a blessing to journey through the decision, training, and the race.
