On Fear and Peace in the Coming Year

How often do I still make choices anchored in fear?  
(oh, let me count the ways…)

How can I move from a place of fear to a place of peace?
(where I truly want to be)

 

My Story

For a very long time I clung tightly to fear-based thinking… and I had no idea! Honestly, I was afraid of things I thought were good to be afraid of…

Afraid of not pleasing - people and God.
    Afraid of not being in control.
        Afraid of not having the right beliefs.
            Afraid to be or appear weak.
                Afraid to let anything bad into my world.
                    Afraid to make a mistake, or be wrong.
                         And at the crux of it all, afraid to fail.

As a result I strove for illusive perfection and acquired a false sense of self-righteousness. I held an unhealthy pride in my beliefs and actions; and this perky, positive girl developed a truly negative filter for the beautiful things of life. I approached the world from an attitude of judgment, and any hint of dissonance meant I would distance myself. I wrapped that “distance” with a smile and what I thought was love.

But really it wasn’t love.

    It was control.
        And control is far from love.*

Then something shifted along the way. Slowly but clearly, my eyes were opened to my noxious judgment and unbecoming pretentiousness, and I became aware that beneath it all was, indeed, FEAR.

So, here I am: an ever-recovering perfectionist and fear-based decision-maker.

I still regularly struggle to give up control, and I often cringe at my bend to think I hold the monopoly on what is the right way to believe or act.

Heaven knows, I am thrilled I don’t have to have the right answers to the ways of the universe. Yet I still often find myself wanting to tell people how to think, act and feel, as if what is going on in my mind and soul is the be-all-end-all.

But along this messy recovering process, here’s what’s happening… I am tasting PEACE.

Real peace. True peace. Like I never experienced before. The kind of peace that is so deep and pure, you can’t explain it. The kind of peace that can exist in the midst of chaos, uncertainty, even danger. The kind of peace that can co-exist with real fear, and hold space for it while it runs its course. A peace that provides steady grounding so that the fear turns to courage. A divine peace …that feels like freedom.

And the more I release the fear, the more I experience the peace. Which means this true peace isn’t just coming and going in elusive flashes. Peace is sticking around more. Peace is becoming my foundation, my anchor – the place from which I make my decisions, from which I act and move and develop my being.*

My Wish

While fear is actually a very real and important emotion, it is not meant to become the cornerstone of our existence. For when it does, it blocks the flow of peace, love and blessings to and through us.*

So this is my desire for all of us in the year 2016.

I believe we all can move more toward peace and act less from fear. I believe this. I want this. For me and for you, for our communities, for our country, and for our world.  
 

A Path

It begins with some self-assessment - taking an honest look at your thoughts and opinions.

• Are your opinions driven by love for others, or fear of others? Are they girded in a steadfast promising peace, or a tumultuous venomous fear?
• What shapes your thoughts? Are they tethered by worry and anxiety (expressions of fear), or hope and assurance (expressions of peace)
• Do you find yourself being defensive of your thoughts, beliefs and actions? or can you say that more often you are free from defenses and open to movement and growth?

Next, upon acknowledgement of the places fear is overstepping its place in your being, step into the cycle of being, and make changes where needed - away from fear and toward love.
The cycle goes something like this:

• our thoughts repeated become our ways of thinking;
• our ways of thinking are expressed in our actions;
• our actions repeated develop into the way we live;
• the way we live becomes who we are;
• and who we are in turn shapes our thoughts.

       So where in this cycle will you commit to change? In which part will you make a shift first?

• Will it be in how you treat people who are different from you? Will you act your way into change? Or will it be in how you think of others - especially your adversaries? Will you choose to see them as you see yourself?
• Will the change be in your response to ideologies, expressions, or religions that challenge your own? Will you choose to lay down your own justifications in order to become teachable?
• Will the shift be in your own spiritual practices, going deeper or wider or longer or higher in your ways of inner-work? Will you allow God to re-shape you? 

Finally, when you begin to feel the freedom that comes with real peace, fear will most assuredly pay you a visit here and there.  No need to resist fear; just learn to recognize it. And instead of setting up camp in it, pass through the it to the other side. Fear can then have its proper place in our growth: as a teacher, rather than a dictator. 

PEACE will replace FEAR as your anchor.*

This year can be a year of real change. For me and for you.

Let’s do this!



*For scripture study, see 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Acts 17:27-28, John 14:27, and Jeremiah 30:10, respectively.