Good Mom, Bad Mom... Can I Start Over?!

After re-reading yesterday's post, I thought I might be portraying myself as a little more wonderful than I actually am. I mean anyone can tell a story about something they've done and make their life look like it's a Norman Rockwell painting or something. So please don't get the idea that I flit around doing good with ne'er a negative thought or action.... I certainly aspire to do so, but of course I am human, and I am in need of so much grace and forgiveness, I can't try to kid myself or anyone else. If I ever thought I was a "great mom" who "has it all together," today brought me back to reality quickly! ... Have you ever felt a bit schizophrenic? Well, I certainly did today.

This post would be several feet in length if I explained every occurrence of "good mom" and "bad mom" today. Maybe I'll share more later. But here's the short version: I accomplished a visit to the doctor with all four kids (Trey has a croupy cough but will be just fine after a couple days of steroids), and I survived an afternoon of trying unsuccessfully to get the younger two to nap (don't know what was up with them today!), I yelled at Emily in a rage after she hit George on the face for apparently no reason, I later apologized to her (and she had obviously forgiven me long before), we took the kids to Red Robin for dinner, then I nearly went into another rage when they melted down about the color of balloons they were getting on the way out.

I had sweet moments with the kids today where they made me laugh in silliness, then fast forward a few minutes and I had completely lost my patience again with a juice spill. I was encouraged when I received a compliment from the nurse that I "had it all together" (yes, she actually used those words... what reality was she in?! ... there is no way I had it all together at that crazy, out-of-control doctor's visit!), then later I was disgusted with my reaction to the boys fighting and that pride came crashing down again.

I'm not sure who I was today. I guess I need a break, or sleep, or some pampering, or an infusion of patience and some other various fruits of the Spirit - or all of the aforementioned ... Although, now that I think of it, last night I had a significant break from the kids with some girlfriends - rich conversation over a great meal, and the night before that Leon pampered me with a fabulous foot rub (yes, he's an awesome husband!), and I have been getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night lately, and I really think the Holy Spirit was what/who helped me calm down and not give Emily a good whipping for hitting George (I mean what sense does that make, but I did have the inclination.) So, I really have no excuse for that "bad mom" side coming out so much today.

I'm just glad kids are (and God is) so good at forgiving and forgetting. And I'm glad it's the weekend, when Leon's home. And I'm so thankful I can start over again...
...which reminds me of a great song:

"You can’t change what you’ve done, but you can choose who you’ll become.

Every moment is a second chance at starting over.

Move from the past to the present tense. You can start over. Start over again..."

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