My Daddy

My Daddy isn't here with us in his body anymore. He's been in heaven with Jesus since March 25th. I really miss him (as do my three other sisters and my mom)! He would have been 56 years young this coming Monday, September 1. He died of a heart attack, while working in the red barn he loved so much. He was a wonderful daddy!

This weekend we'll be going to visit Mama (or Nina, as the kids call her)... the whole family will be there. It'll be good. We'll scatter his ashes and make a memorial to him... for us. We'll have some plants, a nice bench, some stepping stones made by all the grand kids, and it'll be under a tree near the barn... in a place he spent lots of time resting from his gardening, contemplating life and enjoying God's creation. Now we'll be able to go there to remember Daddy in a special way... and probably have a healthy cry.

I'm looking forward to this weekend... and at the same time looking forward to it being over.

Who He Was To Me
I really love thinking about my daddy! ...who he was, and who he is, and how he taught me so many things, and how he lived life with abandon. He was such a smart guy with great ingenuity! He was a man of integrity, and intense love - especially for his family! He was so likeable that even those who would consider him an adversary have to admit they liked the guy.

As his daughter, I think about how proud he was of the four of us. No matter how seemingly small the achievement, he would praise us and tell us how proud of us he was, and how good we made him look. :) He always said my mom and sisters and I made him look good, as if to imply he wasn't that good... but he was! And he would always tell us how much he loved us even if we never did great things. He was great at giving unconditional love and telling us that that was one thing we never had to worry about - he'd always love us, no matter what!

He was very huggable, too! Another great thing he did for us as daughters was to always hug us. We grew up with such healthy affection. We didn't have to search around for others to give us physical touch, because he was who we wanted to cuddle up with (usually, that is... I mean we were all teenagers at one point, so there were plenty of times when we resisted the hugs in typical adolescent defiance!)

They say that your image of who God is, is usually shaped by who your earthly father is. Now Daddy certainly had his faults, but I credit him with being a good image of my Heavenly Father, too. He was strong, took care of me, loved me, disciplined me, shaped me, and cared for me. So it wasn't much of a stretch to think of God as all those things and more. Daddy, thanks for that!

A Great Conversationalist

As an adult, living in a different city than him, my relationship with him was mainly through the phone conversations we'd have. Sometimes he'd call just to briefly see how we were doing and maybe to ask a question, or just talk to Leon about some football game or something. But often he'd call and we'd end up in a major theological conversation. He loved to play devil's advocate, and he loved to question the status quo. He loved discussing current events and what was the right thing and what he thought should be done. In the last several years, as my understanding of God and what His plan and purposes are about began to shift, we really had some great, deep conversations. My "follow the rules" and "please everyone" self would usually come up against his "question everything" and "go with your gut" self. But these last few years my thinking began to come more in line with his thinking - and our bond had deepened.

I really miss those conversations! And sometimes when I discover something new, have a deep thought to work through, or want to vent about a particular issue, I have a brief thought, " I'll call Daddy!" and then I remember I can't. Of course conversations with my mom are still great... but those conversations with Daddy were just different and special. Maybe one reason I've loved having this blog is because I can't just call Daddy anymore. I can share my thoughts, work through issues, and vent about whatever I want (almost) here for you all to read. Joy! (Thanks!)

I would love to share some more about my dad. And maybe I will as time goes on... Christmas was his VERY favorite time of year, and he always said so. So, I know the holidays will provide more opportunities for me to share about this great man. And I'll probably post something after this weekend to share with you how it goes. For now, here some info on these pictures of Daddy: 1958 first grade school pic... 1971 new dad pic (me)... 1994 father of the bride (me)... 2006 father of the bride with all his girls (bride Lauren, Jenny, Sarah and me).

The Eyes of Texas are Upon You

Today I bought a University of Texas gift bag that plays the fight song... I don't know why I bought it.... well, yes I do... Trey said, "Why did you buy this?" I said, "It reminded me of Grandy." (That's what the grand kids call him... his name "Randy" mixed with "Grandpa.") I was born in Austin while my parents went to UT, and then my dad went on to graduate from UT Arlington and my mom from SMU. We have various other colleges and universities' "blood" in our family, but of course "Hook 'em Horns" and UT will always remind me of Daddy. He and Mama sang The Eyes of Texas are Upon You to me throughout my childhood, even as a lullaby. I'll bring the gift bag with us this weekend... don't know what I'll do with it.... emotions are just so crazy. You can pray for all of us this weekend... especially Mama.