Be Still and Know - Day 8
On Day 6 my meditation was brief and good. I ended being connected to my Source and ready to face the day! The time in meditation was not anything spectacular, but as the day went on I noticed a greater sense of calmness and more ease in letting stressing things go. That day I had to drive about an hour in morning traffic to speak at a moms' group. Plenty of stressors there! But it really didn't get to me like it totally could have! I felt recognizably calm and at ease along the drive. And as is typical, there were slight issues with setting up for my presentation (finding best outlet, computer needing rebooting, projector set up, painted wall for a screen, etc.) which didn't end up shaking me at all. And my nerves were practically non-existent when it came to my speech. How in the world this was the case is a mystery to me! Well, maybe not... maybe this time in meditation, connecting with God in this way, is truly changing the way I react to the world around me!
On Day 7 in my time of meditation I found myself overwhelmed with God. Gratefulness, thankfulness, and gratitude welled up inside and I just felt so very blessed. Not with earthly treasures, but with forever treasures, like life and "being" itself, and God himself, and relationships with family and friends - and even relationships yet to be discovered. It almost felt tangible around me. I felt lovingly and intensely embraced and held by a mighty, mighty God. Words really fail here to express to you the depth of what I experienced. Afterwards, I wrote a short poem, called Words Fall Short. Now I am not a writer of poetry at all. I've never enjoyed it; it's never flowed out of me; and I'm not really good at it. In fact I may have not written one since an assignment back in elementary school. But this is the second time in this season of life that I was compelled to compose a poem. Rereading my poem, I'm not particularly moved or compelled by it in some emotional way, but it was an instinctual, spiritual response to what I felt. THAT is evidence of the creative, imaginative self that has come alive since I began this journey inward this year. So cool!
Words Fall Short
Creator. Source. Being….
God
Know. Love. Are…. me
Embrace. Warmth.
Beauty… surround
All. In. Now… is
You.
And then Day 8 - today's meditation was mainly deeply relaxing. I even drifted to sleep a bit today. The craziness of my schedule lately has meant less sleep. I'm typically a 8-9 hour a night gal, meaning that's truly what I need to feel like myself. And it's been at least a week since I've gotten close to that in any given night. SO I know my body is needing sleep, and I think it's okay that that happened today. It was almost like even in the minute or so I may have dozed, that in itself was God loving on me, and giving me what I needed.
When I finished meditating, it occurred to me that I would love to go walk the labyrinth today, and so later in the day I found about 30 minutes to do so.
There is an outdoor labyrinth open to the public at Richland College which I visit sometimes. The labyrinth is another ancient spiritual practice which I have come to LOVE. It looks kind of like a circular maze, but it is not a maze at all. It is one winding path toward the center, which also then returns from the center - no decisions to make as to which way to go, and no dead ends. One typical way to use the Labyrinth is with the 3 Rs. As you enter the labyrinth you clear your mind, open your heart and you release to God whatever you need to, staying open to the Spirit as you walk. Then when you reach the center you receive from God whatever he has for you, in prayer, song, meditation, stillness, or just being. Then as you follow the path back out, you return into the world refreshed and renewed by the Spirit. It is a lovely practice - also very meditative in nature. (There is also another public, outdoor one at SMU. And my favorite labyrinth is at St. Thomas University in Houston. Wish it was closer!)
Sometimes I receive something specific in the labyrinth, other times I just experience peace. Sometimes it just allows me time to focus and think.
Today the realization I had while in the Labyrinth was that the method of my prayers has changed over the last year, and especially in this last week of meditating. Since I was a little girl, my prayers have always consisted of me saying words to God in my head asking him for certain things, or asking for His blessing on certain things, or telling him how much I love and thank Him, even asking him to guide me and tell me what I should do about certain things. But when I began to try that in the Labyrinth today, it didn't feel right anymore. It felt like I was saying words to hear myself talk (even in my own head). I almost immediately stopped, mid-sentence. And as I kept walking it dawned on me that I pray differently now. My prayers now seem to come from deep within my heart. Unspoken yearnings, desires, hopes, wonders. Not words spoken in my head. Not words at all. But a direct connection and communication between my Spirit and the Holy Spirit. As if, since there is already a true knowing of me by God Himself, that when I am connected to Him in meditation or this way of praying, the prayer is already there. (Does that make any sense to you at all? This is really hard to put in words. Sorry.) It's not that I think I am or was wrong to pray that way necessarily, but I just realize there's been a shift in me... and I'll take it!
Loving this journey!
Thanks for reading about it.
2 Comments:
Your comments about prayer make total sense to me! (Although, I am your sister...and have always looked to you as the example for spiritual matters...so it shouldn't surprise you that I "get" what you're saying.)
And I am going to make plans to go to that labyrinth at St. Thomas.
I understand.
I began my journey when I was active in the BSU in college. (It's called the BSM now!) I met this guy who was a few years younger than me, and he told of his times with God. He didn't close his eyes, and he said he talked to God as if he were a friend, not the Mighty God. This really blew me away! I was somewhere between thinking . . . Wow, this is great! and How can you be so irreverent to our Holy Father? (That was nearly 40 years ago, and it really impacted my communications with God.) I remember that he was an MK, and I chalked it up to different cultures.
Since I was "raised in the church", praying/talking with God throughout the day has been routine for me. Now that I am older (and retired), I find that I was really naive to think that most people in my world did the same thing. (And by saying "my world" I must admit that my world revolved around my family, my church, and my place of employment. And I viewed my place of employment as my mission field, btw!)
Your comments have me thinking that I'm not so bad because I didn't "Go into my Prayer Closet" and meditate each day. I communicated . . . talked and listened. I just didn't have a designated spot. It was wherever I was at the moment!
I do wonder how you feel about writing your thoughts from the previous day(s) after having slept. When we sleep, our brain processes the activities from the day. (Thus the expression "Let me sleep on it.") Have you found that blogging a day or two later results in different perspectives? Or do you just jot down your thoughts from the day, and then formalize them in your published piece? Just wondering.
Keep the faith!
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