What Forty Years Can Do

I don't remember turning 30. I mean, I don't remember it being a big deal or a huge milestone necessarily. That's probably because I was planning a two-year-old birthday party for child number one, and was looking forward to having child number two, and could only see lots of years ahead of me.

Now I'm turning 40. I'm pretty sure I'll remember it. Something about turning 40 makes me feel like I'm probably close to half way done with living.  I don't feel old, but I don't feel young anymore. I feel like I've really accomplished some things in life, while also feeling like I've got plenty left to accomplish. I feel like I've really learned some major life-lessons, while knowing I've got lots more left to learn. Something about turning 40 makes me think of things in terms of "decades" now, rather than just "childhood, high school, college, and after college" years. These past 10 years have been HUGE for me in lots of ways, so I can only imagine what the next 10 will hold, and the next, and the next.

Looking back over my 40 years of life, here are some things I see.

• A little girl who was always a consummate rule-follower and people pleaser has turned into a woman who knows that there are times when breaking the rules is not only acceptable but necessary. Oh, and pleasing people is impossible. 
• The self-confidence I had as a child, likely instilled in me by my parents and my identity with God, was somehow enough to carry me through being chubby in elementary-school, being called names in Jr. High, and being terrible at anything sports-related throughout my life. Some of the things I encountered should have crushed my spirit, but somehow they didn't. I pray that happens for my children - and all children - that they are able to rise above the tough stuff to see who they really are, which is the only thing that will get them through. 
• Fashions (as many things) are cyclical. Those bell-bottomed jeans and feathered hair that I cringed to see in pictures of my parents, along with the pin-curled waves and fitted dresses my grandmother wore, AND those puffy shoulders and bubble peplums I wore in high school... Yes, they have all returned as the height of fashion in different ways. So no one should ever be too quick to judge when viewing photographs of loved ones through the years. You might just end up wearing that yourself someday!
• The bullies, the snobs, the recluses, the tough guys, and the mean girls throughout my life were all disproportionately hung up on the differences between us. But people are people are people... meaning that although we may have different cultures, colors, careers or concerns, we all are akin at the core. Everyone wants to be loved and wants someone to genuinely care about them. So, if I can treat others with respect by recognizing our matching interiors - no matter the exterior - it makes it much easier to get along and be at peace.
• Based on experience, contentment is the key to being happy. Wanting a nicer/bigger house/car, wishing for more this or that, dying to get the next thing, only brings me down! The times when I find myself content with whatever I have, whatever situation life brings, that is when happiness abounds. Now, if I can learn to stay content all the time...
• My parents made decisions that were tough for them, for the benefit of my sisters and myself - and for that I am exceedingly grateful! Because of the example they set I learned to view things from a larger perspective - looking to the greater good and to future generations - when making decisions. What a blessing!
• Each generation, when they are young, will dislike their parents' music. And each generation, when they are older, will come to respect their parents' music, but dislike their own children's music. That's just the way it is.
• Having Leon as a husband has made me better (at a lot of things.) "Two are better than one... if one falls down the other can help him up." -Ecclesiastes 4:9-12  "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." -Proverbs 27:17
• As King Solomon put it in Ecclesiastes, there is a time and season for everything under heaven. There is purpose found in every season I have gone through: in my naiveity, in my absolute way of thinking, in my assertion of control, in my know-it-all nature...  

Now in whatever season I'm in and can't see, there is purpose here, too. I'm 40. It's exciting. By the end of this decade my children will be young adults. Whew, Lord give me strength! I can't wait to see what this decade holds.