Favorite Friends

I suppose my small revelation isn't original, in fact, it's probably universal... but nonetheless, it is a revelation that I thought I'd share. It has helped me to decide who I really want to be around me when the rubber meets the road. Maybe it can help you to put words to something you already know, too. So here it is...

My very favorite friends are those people who 1) let me completely be myself, 2) somehow just "get" who I am, and 3) make me better.

You know how there are kind of levels of friends that you have. It's like a spectrum all the way from mere acquaintances to the closest and best of friends. Friends even tend to move from one level to another, based on things like: something said or something done (positive or negative), where they live or work or hang out, and whether you put the time and effort into that particular friend at any given point. I don't think having different levels of friends is bad. It's probably quite a good thing - enriching our lives as we grow and develop. So we don't have to try to make every person we meet a BFF, we just have to be open to how they can contribute to our lives - at whatever level.

I've always prided myself for being the kind of person who can get along with anyone. And I truly do enjoy knowing and befriending people of all types. At least from my perspective I can get along with just about anyone (i.e. I can't think of anyone who I can't stand to be around). And I do consider many people to be my friends... true friends... ones I trust with my kids, ones I have spiritual discussions with, ones I share my struggles with, ones I call on in time of need, ones I love to help out - real, true friends.

But I have discovered that there's an even smaller group of people within those true friends who I am a bit more drawn to than the others. These are friends I just really want to hang out with... friends I seem to long for when it's been too long since we've connected... friends I consider to be my favorites. So, I started thinking about what sets those particular friends apart from the others. These favorite friends are different from each other in lots of ways, so it's not necessarily a certain personality type. And some of these friends I've known for years, while some I've met fairly recently, so it's not just how long we've been friends. And then, some of these favorite friends I've had lots of experiences with, while some I just get to connect with occasionally. So, I wondered what that something was that made them special to me. The above revelation is what I came up with.

When I'm around these favorite friends, I can say what I think, be who I am, and let all the walls down - and they respond with encouragement, love and sincerity. They seem to see who I really am inside. They get why I say what I say and do what I do. They might disagree with me or guide me to think differently or hold me accountable, but behind all that is the love and sincerity.

Other friends might speak with a judgemental tone, or try to "one-up" me with their stories or their piety, or might let me know in one way or another that their disagreements with me are obstacles in our relationship. But these favorite friends don't act that way. There is more acceptance with these friends, more mercy, more openness, and even more willingness on their part to be who they truly are with me.

My favorite friends demonstrate some key core characteristics in their relationships toward me: humility, integrity, having the heart of a servant, being forgiving, trustworthy, and loving. They are what I'd call true quality people. And in these things, they make me better, challenging me to be like them... and ultimately like Christ who they emulate.

There is much value in investing in relationships with quality people. I really hope and pray that I am this kind of friend to all of my favorite friends (probably most of those who are reading this :)), and to more. And I hope my little revelation can help you think about the quality favorite friends nearest and dearest to your heart, too.