Various Spewing...

Warning: If you visited my blog today to read about sunshine and happiness, don't read on. This post is high on the need grace and prayers section and a little lacking on the smiles part. Sorry! :) or :(

Cancer...
HATE IT! Wish we knew more about it, what causes it, what stops it, why God allows it! UGH!!! I have a really good friend suffering with it... and now an uncle, too. It simply sucks! And right now I don't want to think about how God can bring good out of it or how wonderful heaven will be for them... that's just cruel to even think about right now... thoughts and words completely empty of meaning!

Hormones & Emotions...
Sometimes I wish neither existed! I know all the wonderful things about both, but I wish there weren't the negative parts that come with them... like emotions and even actions you seemingly can't control, extreme waves of anger or sorrow, killer "times of the month," and petty/silly things that trigger the aforementioned.... again, UGH!!!

Negative Attitudes...
I am a positive person. I can hardly make myself complain too long about something because it brings me down, and ends up making no sense to me in the end. When I encounter someone with a negative attitude, my usual MO is to inject my positive energy into the encounter with a smile or positive spin to the topic at hand. But I seem to be in a FUNK and my positive energy is running low, so the last few days when I've encountered others with negative attitudes or problems, I can't bring myself to rise above like I usually can. I can't seem to reach within me to see the sunshine like I usually can. All I want to do is give it right back to them, and that, too, simply sucks! It's not me. I'm not usually the one with the negative attitude.

Being in a funk...
I've had a lot going on in my life lately... little stuff and some big stuff too. But really not much more than anyone else out there. So, I'm wondering if my faith is weaker than I thought, or if I'm not doing something right, or what action/thought process I can take to get myself out of this funk I seem to be in. I've wondered if Satan is attacking... it kind of feels like it sometimes. And just when I feel like I'm on top of things again, something strikes and I'm back to acting in a way I simply don't approve of. I think I've been here before... but it's been a long time. I don't like it. I know I'll be back to myself before too long, but for now it's icky.

For those of you who have read this far, and who will see me later today or this week, you'll likely not find a forlorn, mopey Kim. When I'm out and about, at church or with friends, this funk-iness isn't too acute, so you don't have to worry about me or dote over me or anything... maybe just say a prayer for me. I think getting this out here has somehow helped, too.... and I think I'll go spend some time outside with God's creation, breathing deep and experiencing Him. That always helps.... Here's to an uplifting post next time!